Shopping Spree

Yesterday I went to the mall. I had no real intention of buying anything, well besides groceries and just the odd thing here and there…but I ended up spending a fortune.

Women | Country Road Camera Bag Good condition | Yaga SA Slogan Cotton Nightdress in X NAVY There is so much more I could have bought but figured I should get to a more set weigh before I splurge on a new wardrobe. But kept eyeing all the shorts that I would one day be able and possibly want to wear, and the dresses. I was just thinking how wonderful it would be to be able to just walk into pretty much any shop, one day and not have to fuss about them having my size or having to walkout deflated because I was just too fat for anything they were selling.

Ankh Sanctuary 116.7KG

Ankh Sanctuary 112.2 KG

Ankh Sanctuary 106.4

The other day when I told my sister how I wanted to go into Crotah free version Italic , 10kg lighter…she kinda said that that was unlikely to happen so fast. Now of course when I said this to her, I was weighting about +/ 114kg. But look now I am 10kg lighter than my highest weight. Now my goal is to finish the year at 100kg. that would mean I would have lost +/- 16kg in 6+ months.

Yesterday when I was looking in the mirror, I could see my own cheek bones for the first time in years…my thighs are actually showing more muscle than fat.

Nyanyai Deng serving cheekbones for the kids. Come get some! | Contour makeup, Black women, Beautiful black women

I still have to lose another +/- 40kg to not be overweight and at my suitable BMI for my height, but I feel like I am on a good path.

On Tuesday I am seeing my surgeon and dietician. I hope he will tell me I can hit the gym and do more than just walk. I hope she will tell me I can eat normal food, even though not same portion as I was eating a few months ago…but man could I do with a nice steak right now

Jimmy's 'Finest' steak for two and a nice cold spritzer… White wine spritzer recipe | BBC Good Food

Sellena Brush but man are all the restrictions worth it. I am finding it easier to carry myself, waking up better, walking lighter. I am just missing my husband. He is away with family right now, but we talk often, and I miss him so much. But I saw this this morning and it got me thinking…

Is there a checklist to qualify someone as a narcissist? - Quora

I hate that he seems to carry a lot of the above traits of a NARCISSIT, but I loved him. Yesterday he promised me that he would see a therapist and would work on us, but we have done the therapist path before, and I don’t want to make the same mistake again. I feel like I am in a good place and maybe I just need to give him the chance to get into his good place too…. or maybe I should just cut all ties.