Scared!
I do not know what to do anymore. My husband and I looked at our budget for the month and in my eyes we are fucked!
My car is being assessed for the damage it obtained from the accident last week. I am freaking out as it was hit rather badly and I don’t have the money to pay for any excesses should I have to…so I am hoping insurance can cover this all. Yesterday when my husband and I were discussing the budget and he was editing the spreadsheet I created while he washed his car, that I am now driving, he wouldn’t stop going on about how I only come to him when things are bad and I have messed up…he seems to forget how he never wanted to hear about the accounts etc and when I mentioned them he would brush them off. Things got so heated that I ended up in tears and he told me that I need to get strong and not cry.
In just a few days it will be my Dad’s birthday. I don’t know how I am going to give my contribution towards his gift. Well I do but I am so scared. Then just a few days later it will be my sister’s bday…. And then I may get fired from this new job.
Yesterday I spent a few hours applying for jobs and just making an appointment to meet with a recruitment agency tomorrow during my lunch.
I am so over my head right now. The idea of committing suicide keeps running through my head. I don’t want to do that but I don’t know if I can keep living. I don’t know what to do.
I hate my life right now.
Hi, friend!
I am a (still training, but already awesome!) crisis counselor and I’d love to talk to you if you are feeling up to it.
I’m not generally one to tell folks what to do or how to think, but given the circumstances, I’ll leave my offer with this as a bow:
Nothing that could ever happen has the ability to devalue you or make it so that your life is not worth living. Promise, promise, promise. Cross my heart. There could never exist something greater than your intrinsic and beautiful existence. You have a tiara on your head, m’lady. We can’t very well go around letting it go all cattywompus now, can we? Right now, I need you to sit up straight, fix that tiara, and breathe.
Clear your head. Think of yourself inside a white room with white walls and white floor. Nothing but white. You’re floating in there. Block out noise, block out thoughts, just be floating in your white space. Nothing is bad there, nothing is good. It just is. Float for a few moments, using your breath as a way to keep thoughts from your head. Count as you inhale and exhale, like your timing them. See if you can get your exhale and inhale and hold times to be equal! Make a little game of it, if that helps.
My name is Odd Petunia, you are my Sister From Another Mister and I love you.
Love & Respect,
Odd Petunia
Thank you @odd-petunia
@ncumisa Quite literally any time at all, my friend.
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