Say Something

I first heard this song when Alex and Sierra sand it in . Then I heard the original by Great Big World and then Christina Aguilera joined it and honestly the song is amazing no matter which artist is singing it.

I feel like I have better conversations with characters in the books I read, than with my husband. We never talk about anything real… our conversations are so surface level…

Yeah so, he knows I want a new job and want to earn more money… I mean yeah, I know what he does for work, but we don’t seem to talk about anything meaningful.

When he goes off about the stress, he is dealing with…and when he goes on his drinking binges…I ask him what is going on and he won’t tell me…but he will throw it in my face that I am never there for him.

I have always been a very independent person. I don’t know if it is just the head injury I suffered from the accident or it is because I was spoon fed my whole childhood and most of my life, that I struggle to balance everything…

I struggle balancing the books

I struggle balancing my social life

I struggle balancing my meds

I struggle balancing me… I just want and want and want and assume that everything will be alright, and I will manage when I get it all. Maybe that is why I don’t have the things that I want because I wouldn’t be able to handle it all and will just drown.

Thought that getting married meant having a life partner to manage everything with…but he doesn’t talk, and I cannot really rely on him to do anything serious, in terms of living expenses and life.

We are both very PROUD people. So, we won’t ask for help when we need it. I guess I am also ashamed to ask for help and for things to be explained to me.

I guess I need to start speaking up and asking for help…before I really start giving up on myself and end up in the gutters.