Putting Words into Actions!
I am all talk talk talk and procrastinate when it comes to doing things.
For months I have been looking at putting new Aluminum Windows in my flat. I have spoken to my father, and he has tried to get me to go the cheaper way and back door, but I know from when he did that a few years things only got worse and now I am constantly freezing in my flat and I am just feeling like boosting my moral. So, this morning I finally did it. I paid the deposit for new windows for my flat.
This sure was not a cheap Antidepression and Job, and I am waiting for my father to see the transaction on my Trust Account and for him to go all Ape Shit on me, but hey I had to do what I had to do.
I have a whole board of things I want to do in my flat. Someone won the R 44 million lotto last night and it wasn’t me so I was feeling very bummed this morning. if I had that much to just go wild. Okay I wouldn’t be stupid there are many things I would want to do for good and for family and self.
So last year I was all about losing weight so I could have a baby. Did the Bariatric Operation and things were going well. I was losing weight and feeling good about myself and looking good.
Now, I haven’t put on weight, but I am not actually losing weight. I am bouncing around on 90.1kg and 92.1kg. Figured I would do some maths and boost my moral and have me wanting to get back on the
So, July/August 2022 I was weighting
Last Night I was weighting
So that means that in just about a year I have lost
Now I cannot remember what the exact timeline is but I know that if I can have lost 30 – 40 kg by the end of August this year then I would think I have done well.
So this means I need to have lost within the next month and a half. So, I need to lose . Not gonna put myself down but I can do this. If I got the ball rolling on getting Aluminum Windows Ordered and Installed, then I can do this. If I have managed to lose the weight of about an average 8-year-old boy in 6 months, then I can lose the weight of an average 11-month-old boy.
a week!
Many year ago I said that when I dies I want to be buried in a Jewish Cemetry. Of course, not being Jewish kinda made the impossible. And so last year I made that happen…I converted!
…and so, I need to put the gun to the metal and get those kilos off my body!
Was a hell week. I was on leave, but my bio mother left early as her older sister passed away and her nieces and nephews needed her there to organize things and of course just be there for them. Thankfully she got back in time to see her sister in her last moment alive.
Anyway, I spent the week on leave sulking in bed. Yes, I blamed my husband and his issues of drinking and not being there for me and the accident he had with his car…yesterday I saw the damage that was done on his car and it is really bad…So of course, now there is tension between my sister and father and my husband (he doesn’t know, but I did cry to them) but I think the main issue was that I was depressed with the state of my life and everything. And so I need to work on keeping a smile on my face and being happy and taking my anti-depressants.
THINGS ARE GOOD RIGHT NOW AND GOTTA STAY ON THE TRAIN AND KEEP WORKING ON THINGS GOING ALONG MERRY
You CAN do this!! At least you aren’t gaining…just holding steady. I know it’s so hard to stay motivated and do what needs to be done. I am struggling with it too and it can make you feel so down. Right now I am just trying to be happy with myself and how I look and just love myself the way I am. But, it’s hard.
😘
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