Punching Bag!

That is what I feel like when my husband has been… 

That is what I feel like when my husband’s 

That is what I feel like when my husband 

Today we had a lazy day, so after I did the things I had to do I lay in bed next to him…he received a message from his mom…he didn’t want to open it as he was expecting to receive a message explaining how hard things are for them with no money or that they need something… I gave his arm a squeeze and told him that I was there for him. So he opened it and she started off the message with letting him know how much she misses him and how she is sorry she missed his call in the week… but then a few seconds later came the real message…they needed electricity.

So of course he was down and pissed off at how she only reaches out to him when she needs something and he is stressed as his bank account is in the negative and how work is stressing him out.

I told him to breathe. I took a hold of his arm and told him to do what felt right for him. To put himself first and do what he feels is right for himself and if he feels like he can help and wants to help then he must but not at the cost of what keeps him going. In the end he wanted to help them out and so I gave him money to go and get electricity for them.

But when he came back boy did he go on about how…

I am not an affectionate person! But just that morning before I left the flat I gave him a kiss. Just a few hours ago while he was stressing out about his mother needing electricity I gave his arm a squeeze. While we were watching Love Island last night and this morning I rested my head on his chest. Just this morning and often we discuss our love languages…

His are  and 

And mine are  ,  and 

I love him so much but I am just so exhausted!

This weekend he needed to put petrol in his car, who gave him money for that? ME!!

I was folding the laundry and came across all his clothes and I realized that I am the one that bought him all the clothes he wears…I don’t expect anything back but I remember how when we separated a few years ago; my sister mentioned that to him, he threw if in my face how I went and told everyone he uses me and how he cannot even buy his own underwear and needed me to do that.

On Friday while I was out shopping to buy supper I saw these beautiful roses…decided to buy myself a bunch! He helped me carry the groceries from my car into the apartment building and we saw our Body Corporate Chairman and so he said how he was…

Why the #$%& do I love him and want to still be with him!!