Ooh…
….the narcissist in him!
A friend of mine shared this on her 
page… (she is also having issues with her husband…her’s is a lot worse than mine.) anyway…
“When you marry a narcissistic man, you never get the chance to be a wife; instead, you take on the role of a mother because these grown adults behave like man-children. They go to work Monday through Friday and then spend their weekends sitting in front of a laptop, downloading music, playing video games, or creating messes for you to clean. You find yourself both single and a parent simultaneously, shouldering the weight of responsibilities without the support of a partner.
Narcissists don’t marry for love or partnership; they marry because they want a maid, cook, secretary, banker, and a babysitter. They crave control, not connection. Their selfish desires consume them, leaving you to manage the household, raise the children, and cater to their every whim. Your dreams of a loving, equal relationship are shattered, replaced by the harsh reality of servitude.
As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks into years, you become a shadow of your former self. Your identity is erased, replaced by the exhausting duties of managing a narcissist’s life. You’re forced to sacrifice your own desires, interests, and friendships to accommodate their demands. The emotional labor is suffocating, leaving you drained, resentful, and wondering how you ended up in this nightmare.
You’re not alone in this struggle. Many women have fallen prey to the charming facade of a narcissist, only to find themselves trapped in a loveless, thankless role. Remember, you deserve better. You deserve a partner who loves, supports, and respects you. Don’t let the narcissist’s gaslighting convince you otherwise. Break free from this toxic cycle and reclaim your life. You are more than a mother to a man-child; you are a strong, capable, and worthy individual who deserves to be loved and cherished.”
The bare minimum he does in the flat is because I have begged him to do and he does just to show me he does something…well at least that is what it seems like since he won’t do more.
He will make the bed because I insist on it. He will do the dishes only when I have left them for a while.
He never includes me in his plans unless he needs a 
…why drive and waste petrol when your wife will drive and have petrol and pay for everything else?
he will only come with when he is bored adn has nothing better to do, or he wants to get something for himself.He doe tell me he loves me, but that is generally when I am giving my attention to the book I am reading or the show I am watching or bust doing stuff that doesn’t involve him so he is now demanding my attention.
when it comes to being with a narcacist its best to leave them altogether
Not so easy, @pianogirl58. Especially when I feel so dependent on his being…I am sure I could manage ok my own but scared of being alone and don’t know how to finally be rid of him. Well don’t know how to get him to leave…now thinking about how I can leave and make him be in a situation where he becomes my tenant officially. Mmm…
@ncumisa maybe see a counsellor who can help you with the tools to leave your husband
@pianogirl58 last year I saw a councillor to help with my self confidence etc but stopped seeing her because I couldn’t afford her. But maybe I will find a way to afford her again do can gain the tools to get out of my relationship. I mean she did it for herself and she was way worse off than me. She wrote an auto about her life and how she got into a bad situation which resulted in her taken drugs and ending up in jail because of something she did that her husband and father in law at the time made her do. Great read. “Fraud by Nikki Munitz”
@ncumisa wow hope you can find a way to afford seeing your therapist again
Think I need to plan on standing officially on my own. Maybe see therapist when on own.
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