Not Starting off Well…

Come home from work…my husband is packing his bag for the weekend trip…but immediately I know it…

 our bedroom smells of alcohol!

he is very exited (which is okay, since this weekend is a surprise for him) but It is not the normal excitement (I know him well enough), he goes on about talking about how he woke up with a hard on. I asked him if he has been drinking….he apologizes for lying to be last time about drinking so he isn’t going to lie to me…but he doesn’t confirm it and he goes on about how I know the answer to the question.

So we are all packed….I decided to shower and wash my hair…he sits on the toilet seat and tries to talk to me…we have often spoken to each other while the other one was in the shower, but tonight I was not in the mood because even though he pointed out that he wasn’t drunk and his eyes were not red …I know that he had been drinking a lot and he could have used  to clear his eyes…that is a trick of his that he has used many times over the years and has told me about it…and the fact he emphasized on that kinda makes me think…

Anyway so I am n ow blow drying my hair and he wants to have a serious conversation… now I would be very keen to have this conversation but not right now!!!

I am busy….

      and  particularly my husband….

At the best of times my husband thinks he is

Just imagine how much worse he is when he is drunk…

Hair is done so I go off to pack away toiletries…I come back into our bedroom and he is busy putting on makeup at my dressing table. This isn’t the first time. Last week…when he had been drinking again, I walked into the room with him putting in make up.

Okay so it isn’t a full face of makeup…just drawing on eyebrows as he really only had a few random hairs…and what he does doesn’t even depict eyebrows (I don’t know what he does, but he is certain that what he does is star quality and even better than what I do)

Now from the day I met him he has been very homophobic even though he has had gay friends and socializes with gay guys perfectly fine, but he has explicitly told me that should his son turn out gay he would disown him and kick both me and him out the house (never mind the fact that I would be the owner of said house) and he goes on about how that whole community is confused and not real. So right now I am question if this was him hiding his true identity all along, or maybe there is nothing wrong with him putting on my makeup when he is drunk… well I guess there isn’t anything wrong with men wearing makeup…but why does he do it when we are getting ready to go to bed or relax at home???

Didn’t have anything special planned for tonight since we have to leave the house by 10:30 am the latest…but while having supper in bed and watching  He puts on some program on his phone and leans it against me…and then 5 minutes later he starts snoring. Now that is okay, I am used to his snoring and often we will each watch other programs on our phones…but normally he would have earphones on…but my big issue is that this was all at 

I would much rather go away on my own this weekend….not sure how I can ditch him…don’t trust him to be in the flat the whole weekend on his own and I really wanted to spend a romantic weekend with my husband…since a few weeks ago I have been dreading this weekend and how wrong it could go. Mmm…maybe he will get attacked my lion….or wonder off in the bush and get lost…okay that would just make it that much worse for me…mmmm…guess I could just wonder off and enjoy the weekend for myself. When not on game drives, I can just find a nice shady and earthy spot and read my kindle.