Nobody But You (Him)

I don’t wanna live without you
I don’t wanna even breathe
I don’t wanna dream about you

That is how I feel about my husband. 

This weekend we just had the best weekend together, just being us and I got some assurance about having a child with him and how he would be. 

My happiest times this weekend was when we were just in each others company, we may have been doing our own thing but just having him in my orbit and being in his, made me feel all loved and warm. 

This weekend I got reminded of the man that I feel in love with all those years ago, and the man that I keep holding on for. 

All the wasted days, all the wasted nights
I blame it all on being young

Unlike Blake and Gwen I blame all our ‘Wasted Days and Wasted Nights’ on being an adult on all the stresses life puts us through…work…money…work….work…work… 

So Friday was ‘Heritage Day’ in South Africa, so I had no work and figured that I would take Wednesday and Thursday off work as well…so I had an awesome 5 days to just ‘Fuck it!’ and do what I wanted and man was it good. 

I had a pedicure and manicure and then had my hair done. My husband and I share a car, and he needed it too but since he was working I made him have to work around me and wait for me while I pampered and relaxed. At first he was a lil pissed off about it but on Thursday he was really cool about it and told me to take my time…I think he realised how I needed this time to just relax. 

Friday we just zoned out and did what we do best and love…sleep and veg out in bed. 

I been thinkin’ about what I want in my life
It begins and ends the same
If I had to choose what I couldn’t lose
There’d only be one thing

I have always know what I wanted to do with my life. 

As a child I told everyone I wanted to be a doctor…but somewhere along the line I changed my mind and decided do rather study to become a CA…well that plan got kicked to the curb by a drunk driver when he drove  into a car I was in, resulting in me being in a coma for 3 weeks and having to go through a lot of rehabilitation which kinda put the whole CA thing on hold and now seems to be just dream…

But the one thing that has always stuck was the idea and dream of becoming a mom…over the years I didn’t pressure it as I always figured I would have time, but over the past few years when time no longer is a luxury, I have to stress with depression and being over weight and worrying about how I would ever handle a baby with a husband that was constantly getting drunk and was more of a big baby that I had to look after…but after this weekend I realised that, that isn’t such an issue anymore. 

His cousin’s son stayed with us on Saturday and my husband was so attentive and was so worried about this 10 year old boy…he kept running around after him, making sure that he wasn’t hungry or bored of thirsty…and when he went to shower, boy did this boy take forever…which worried my husband and had him running to the bathroom door to check up on him every like 5 minutes…he was actually driving me crazy, I always thought that I would be the overprotective and neurotic parent, but I guess not….all though I suppose a 10 yr old boy verse a new born may be a different thing. 

But seeing my husband being so parental, even after having to 2 drafts of beer, just reassured me and showed me that I didn’t have to worry about him and being a parent. 

I don’t wanna live without you
I don’t wanna even breathe
I don’t wanna dream about you

My husband is my person

He is the one for me

He makes me mad but damn when he makes me smile and laugh all those tears I shed before were worth it….okay they weren’t ‘Worth It’ but the good times surpass the bad by so much

I love my husband. Lately he is just hugging me and kissing me and telling me that he loves me…and it makes me feel so good. 

Wanna wake up with you next to me

Being in his arms is my favourite place.