Mind #%@* Pt5

I get woken up at like 6am in the morning, by a from my  asking for money, so she can get to walk.

I get to work and read a , from my Bio Mom. So I call her and the first thing she says to me when she answers the phone… 

 

So, before I have actually begun any work today, I have already given just about R 1000 = $ 52,92 and I haven’t made any money today!

After I gave my husband’s sister money so she can get to work today so she can continue to support her 4 kids and my mother in law, I showed him the message she sent me and he just blows it off. I asked him why he doesn’t want to talk to his sister…he tells me he gave her money a few weeks ago. 

I have been asking him where the money is he was supposed to give me so I can keep…

But he hasn’t got any money!

I have started to do just my own washing! I keep hearing him ask me;   And so slowly I am doing less for him and making him see what I have actually being doing for him. This morning while I was driving to work and fuming about how little he cares for his own blood and how she turned to me for money to help her out…you know it is rather interesting how you only hear from  when they want something from you! Okay maybe that is just South African … or maybe that is just me!

All I want to do it crawl into a corner and cry…I keep thinking about how the last time I felt like this, I went into an Emotional Rehab Clinic for a lil over a week…and that is what lead to this Online Diary. I am not going back there but I could really use some me time!

I am feeling like I am being pulled in so many directions and I am either going to crash or just kill myself!

This is so not fair!

This morning while I was preparing for work, my husband actually got up from bed and took out the trash. I kept wondering what the @#&! he was doing, as he hardly ever gets out of bed until the last second when he has to get up to work…the trash normally builds up before he takes it out or I ask him to…or it is Saturday and he has been drinking which means he is cleaning.

My husband’s brother resigned from his job and is moving down this weekend. Don’t know what he is going to do in a new city and living in a 2 bedroom apartment with 5 other people. Last night I thought it would be nice to do something with his family this weekend…take them out for supper or something…my husband suggested we braai…I was all keen on is last night but this morning after being asked for money at 6am by and my husband not caring about his own family and giving them money without even contributing towards our expenses I was like  and he also said we should forget about the whole thing!

 

I cannot keep going on like this!

 

Turns out he never actually read the message I sent him on Saturday about how everything is becoming too much for me and he needs to pull his weight… So, I brushed it off…but with the way I am feeling I think tonight is the night that I am going to lay it all out on him!