Midnight

My sister but dialled me, waking me up and now I am unable to sleep.

My husband is snoring, obviously making it that much harder to fall asleep. Over the years I have learnt to block out his snoring and still sleep, but when he has been drinking, it is so much louder.

Earlier when we were both awake, a lil after midnight, I had been woken up by my phone vibrating (sister calling) and he was up doing  something, when I rolled over he tried to hold me. I felt so repulsed, I had to move his hand off me. I remember a time when I used to wish for him to hold me in bed and loved it when he would. Tonight the idea of him touching me just made me squirm to the edge of the bed.

It is so funny how he can spurt hateful words to me, but 15 minutes later forget it all happened and suddenly become this loving guy and act all confused when I pull away.

After speaking to my sister, after the but dial, I hear him on his phone. In the past he has faked answering a call on his phone, just to show off and come across important, but I could see that there actually was a call. For a while I was left with wondering who the hell he called or called him at midnight. The last time that happened it was the other chick. Not gonna lie and say that I didn’t wish it was her and I could prove it and finally have something to kick him out for. I mean I know I can kick him out for anything but because I have accepted his drinking and his shameful behaviour and all the abuse he has dished out to me, I am kinda finding it hard to stand up to him. Also I am worried for him; where would he go and what would he do.