Last Night…

I remember it so clearly. It felt so real. She was lying in bed and looking so frail and as if she was in so much pain. I turned to my father and asked him, if we could stop the pain in any way.

I don’t know why I am thinking about my mom so much more the last few days. I am missing her so much, I miss her all the time, but so much more lately. Maybe it is because of this book that I am reading that is reminding me so much of my life. Brief Synopsis: Mother dies and leaves behind 3 adult daughters and a husband; who in the book is starting to date another women and the main character in the story; 1 of the daughters, doesn’t handle the new girlfriend scenario very well.

Anyway…I woke up wanting to call my dad, which I have yet to do. I just miss my mom. I just want to sit in a corner and cry a lil. If I had the time today at work I would just swing past the cemetery and spend some time with her. Maybe that is what I will do on Sunday.

After seeing the above poem, the intense missing of my mom started. I know saying this is stupid, but I really wish she was still with me. I know it is being selfish too, considering the amount of pain and suffering she went through and how hard I know she fought to stay for her children….when she passed away I was at peace knowing that she would no longer be suffering and I was comforted knowing that she was there for me at my time of need, when I almost died, but it is so hard right living without her.

Okay…I need to stop this post now before I burst into tears at work. I just wish I could shout out to every son and daughter who still have their mom, to hold onto her and cherish every minute, because life sucks when she is gone.