Just Got Paid!!!

Well…it has been a while since I drank so much that I wasn’t able to function. Damn! It sucks being an adult….everything I do and every decision I make has to be thought through and balanced out.

I got paid at midnight…yippie! So there is money in my bank account.

Tonight I have a work function so my husband is going to be home alone…since I need the car today he is doing public transport today….so I gave him money for the taxi…and then I transferred some money into his account so he can buy supper…but in the back of my head all I am just thinking about is how his work may have a braai today and supply alcohol to the staff and now that he has money he may buy alcohol.

I really do love him and on some level I do trust him…I just wish that I trusted him enough to be certain that he wouldn’t turn to the bottle now that he has money.

Money…over the next few days my phone will be going off with notifications about debit orders…. all I want, is to just go on some holiday and relax…be pampered and go on a shopping spree.

Luckily I own the flat that my husband and I live in…but still got to pay Rates and Taxes and I do owe levies from last month and need to pay this month’s levies.

Fuck! When did living cost so much?

Today my colleague came into work hungover…he went drinking last night. Looking at him, I just thought back to when I was in my early 20’s and how I would go to some club with work friends…we would dance and drink the night away…I would get home at about 4am…then I would collapse onto bed…wake up at 8am go to to gym for about an hour and then get to work at stand on my feet for 9 hours…

I work an 8 – 5 job and sit at a desk 5 days of the week….and the idea of having to get home and cook a meal and then just sit in front of a tv EXHAUSTS me. Damn! Getting old sucks! Or maybe it is just being overweight!

You know you are always taught…well hear how you should save a third of your salary every month?  How the Fuck are you supposed to live with the cost of life increasing every month, and still manage to save?

Tomorrow, I am going to test drive my dream car. Now in a perfect world I would love to think I could just drop the cash for it and drive off with the car tomorrow…but that isn’t so.

I mean yes I am selling my other asset…duplex house but it is so fucking expensive to sell something. Right now I owe the lawyer some money so the sale is in transit…but all I can think about are the things I want to buy when the transfer goes through and I get all that money. But I know that since it won’t be enough to buy another apartment/house and right now is not the buyer’s market so it would be stupid to buy a house for side income purposes…so most of that money is going to go into investment…but what investment? I hate saving!! I love spending!!

So I want to just make it rain…rain at bars and spas…SHOP! SHOP! SHOP! but

The new month will begin and I will be eating RAMEN NOODLES and POPCORN…because my left over cash needs to see me and my husband through a month.

My husband needs to sort out his ID and stuff next month…so his mother is going to come down. He wants to fly her down and then she takes the bus back. So that is a couple of grand…and then feeding 3 people….and all the expenses.

You know what! I will get through this! I always manage to survive and make it!

So tonight I am going to have fun! If my husband drinks…then so be it! I will deal with it! But tonight is about having fun!