I’m Jealous…

Okay being ‘jealous’ is a very bad quality, but I can’t help but be that right now. A friend just told me that she is pregnant with twins. I love my friend and I am happy for her, but all I want is to have children; would be perfect if I had twin boy and girl, but I would be overjoyed with the prospect of just having a baby preferably 2 at the same time, overcome the pain once.

Julia Michael’s lyrics to this song are quite funny because they are so true to me. Since my head injury a few years ago, I am unable to maintain a steady mood sometimes…so I can be ecstatic but then come down so quickly and be suicidal.

Saying ‘I love you’ to my husband has become really hard.

I am in no sane mind right now to handle everyone else’s issues. I have always put everyone I love before me and now that I am putting myself first, I am feeling so much happier, so I intend to keep with that mindset, of course I won’t be dismissive and cause intentional pain to others but putting me first this year (when I have) has been wonderful.

I have kinda learnt this year that I don’t need anyone. I can do things on my own, it is nice having the support and encouragement and guidance, but I can do it!