I’m Ain’t Happy…I’m Feeling Glad…

This past week has been a roller-coaster of emotions.

 was all about the new job, new dressing style, new people, new everything…but oh my gosh was it a lot. So much training to do and so much to learn and so serious…rules about everything…a set time for tea and for lunch… and boy was the office freezing cold!

did some Au-pair work…fetched daughter from pre-school and when I did I bummed into my old boss, since his kid also goes to the same school. Very awkward!

And of course more training and learning more things and feeling more overwhelmed and questioning if changing jobs was the right move.

fetched boys from school too…didn’t get a very good impression of them but after a few days of lifting them around I warmed up to them. But my main concern was how I was feeling about this new job.

I started questioning if money really was that important and if being bored at my previous job was such an issue for me. In this new job it seemed like I would have to have my head on straight and be able to do so much and I the teams were so big I don’t know where I fit in and what I need to do. The other admin assistants and team heads were really reassuring and uplifting and telling me that eventually I would get the hang of it and they felt the same way too when they started…but did they have a head injury? Did they come from a job where they spent most of the day reading their kindles and reading celeb gossip stories? Were they stressing about not being able to put petrol in their car or buy food for the week?

This week has been loving between my husband and me…but I need to be honest with someone and since I can’t be honest with him exactly…

I need more from him and right now he can’t give me more and I am scared. Last week Sunday I asked my dad for money so I could put petrol in my car and buy some food for my first week at my new job. I also used that money to buy prepaid electricity, because my husband clearly wasn’t able to. So basically three times this past month I have had to buy electricity and make sure that we still lived, technically I am always the one making sure we have everything and everything is paid off and in working order etc. He says he is trying but I would be lying if I said I didn’t question it. Often this week he has pushed for me to get a loan from the bank and I have tried every day this past week…but it is taking so long that in the end the app logs me out or I just give up as I have to focus on other stuff…last night when he requested for a loan from the bank the app turned him down because he is not a viable credit risk for them. What does that mean for me?? Last night we briefly spoke about how the next month is going to be tough on us financially…

So we need to talk about what we need to get right and make things work. I don’t want to be alone or without him and I want to be his wife…wish that would legally happen already. It is so weird having to sign everything with my maiden surname now in my new job.

You know with this new job, I have been thinking more and more about working from home, since so many of the staff do now…but I don’t have the space to work from home…makes me want that dream house more. I keep losing with the and . I really want to win so I can do all that I plan on doing and want to do and need to do.

When I left my previous job they gave me a farewell gift of a voucher for …of course I have used it already and I have just a few more days to go and collect it but I don’t want to go today…I just want to curl up in bed, cry and read my kindle. Also need to have a budget talk with my husband and he can never give me the actual numbers. I also need to change the date of my debit orders because I now get paid on a later date…sucks living pay check to pay check. Need to make a change!!

 

– I have a list of our expenses and have kinda held onto the unnecessary expenses.

 I don’t go enough to warrant me paying so much…although I did lower my membership in the beginning of the month.And the weather is changing so plan on going more…but I say that all the time and never do…

 I have so many streaming platforms…but I only ever watch off  and  is such a waste of money…but I need it for when all other platforms fail to entertain and also… I love my rugby!!

My husband and I fail big time with sticking to a budget!! So need to work on this ASAP!!

Credit Score? I have no idea what mine is although my bank does notify me regularly on it but I just ignore those emails.

Although I did have a savings account…things did get tough and so I took from it…I need to make sure that it is still running and that money is still going into it every month. Yeah I need to be alert where all my money is going.

Well I am paying off loans, accounts and credit card every month. My husband was saying just the other day how we should work towards closing all the unnecessary accounts.

I just started a job that pays a lot more than my previous one…now I just have to hang onto it and make it work and grow from it and be the best that I can be. You know this week I considered maybe going into studying …I mean I did think about it in my previous job but never got into it and then considered studying , but seeing what the Human resources do at my new job kinda made me think about going that way…but let’s just focus on the right now and getting the right now right before jumping into new things.

Okay, I did have a RA in my previous job and I did begin the process to change things over to it being just me paying for it. I considered drawing out some money from it, since from this month South Africa has allowed that due to living costs being so astronomical…but I decided not to take money from my RA.

I hardly ever use my Credit Card. Well I did max it out so I couldn’t use it…but then after some paying it off…when it has reached a good amount I have used it when I have needed to…so need to keep paying it off and work towards not using it.

This lil exercises has helped me out a lil. I am feeling a lot better and ready to work towards getting things right! Having and Paying for an Open Diary is silly…but it is helpful for me and it is nice listening to what others think and advise and also giving them some advice and also knowing that I am not the only person in this world that is feeling or going through what I am going through. And paying for it allows me to be creative with my diary!