I am scared…

I find myself giving in again…

He has been going to AA meetings online and talks about wanting to see a psychiatrist and budgeting for one and things have been going really well. His sister has been coming back to the flat rather late and being staying in the spare bedroom all so besides a hello here and there we don’t speak much. The flat is all nice and subdued and I am feeling close to my husband again.

But I am scared that this is all just to get me to go all soft and, in a few weeks, he will be drinking again, and AA will be  And I will be back to feeling like shit and just hating my marriage and being at home.

Now that things are going well with us, I am smiling when I think about him and want to hug and kiss him and tell him that …but then I remember how just last week he told me that he doesn’t believe that I love him.