He Got Paid!!

This is so not fair!!!!

I was coming home from work and I knew it!! I had barely spoken to him all day. He goes quiet on WhatsApp when he has been drinking.
I get home and normally he is quick to shout hello from the office or gets up to greet me at the door. Not this time…

As I walk up to him at the desk I can smell it already! Don’t know why I ask but I do and he just gives a nod and wants to talk to me about our budget. He shows me his payslip… meanwhile I am thinking how he just got paid and the first thing he did was go and buy booze.

Right now I am lying in bed….crying because I don’t think I can do this anymore. I am trying to much! I don’t know how I am going to do this! I don’t know how to continue or how to live.

When I smelt the alcohol on him, I kept hearing myself tell him to get out of my flat and to get out of my life.

But after the budget talk and him contributing his share of money….how can I tell him now to leave. I could give him a month…but how would I do it on my own?

I can hear his keys dangling… I don’t want to talk to him. Right now I just want my mommy and daddy. I just want to be loved.