Fed Up!

I am lying on my bed, reading some cheesy romantic novel on my kindle, when I get a phone call from my husband. Immediately I can hear he has been drinking. He tells me he had a lil . He tells me he pressed his panic button, and the Road Assistance should be on their way. I am meant to go out to have dinner with my family, so I am in no mood for his shit. So, I put the phone down.

He calls again and so I give in.

 and find him and the other car he seriously damaged. While I stand next to him, I can smile the alcohol. He is acting all as if he has got this and had it all under control. After waiting for about an hour with no word from his insurance company. The parties all swop numbers and registration details. We write an affidavit so the other party can report the accident at the police station. It my husband went to the police station he would immediately be arrested, due to intoxication and who knows what other hell he would have to go through. But secretly in my mind I wanted the police to shop up and arrest him and have him sleep a few nights in jail. Right now, I don’t know how he is going to pay for the repair on her car and his and I don’t know what he is going to do to sort out his life.

I know that what happened is very understandable, as the road is very bendy and narrow, so accidents have happened on that corner before and there have been times when I have made the same mistake as he did, even though I was sober. But because he was driving drunk and the way he was behaving I am just hoping for the worst for him. 

Right now, I am just stuck!

I took him out for lunch yesterday and we got into an argument, and we got into an argument, and he told me that he doesn’t believe that I love him. He went on to say that he believes in me, but because he still holds onto me telling him a few years ago that  he doesn’t believe it when I say that I love him, he went on to say that he believes in me. I was so confused by all that. He went on to ask me if I still want to be with him. It took me a real long time to answer and in the end I said yes. I really wish I told him I didn’t want to be with him anymore.

This morning while I was driving to work, I was thinking how being alone wouldn’t be such a bad thing. I mean yeah sure it would suck, but I wouldn’t be feeling the way that I have been throughout this relationship. I don’t see myself ever getting married again in anyway  I don’t want to ever be in a situation where I am tethered to another person, so will live on my own.