Confirmation!
So last week I thought I was going crazy when I smelt alcohol off my husband’s breath. I talked myself into trusting him and believing that he hadn’t been drinking and I was just looking for a problem since he just went back to work and I knew that it would be a perfect opportunity for him to drink.
Anyway…if he had been drinking what was the problem?
We were getting along, there was no fighting, he was loving…everything was great even though he conked out on the sofa at like 8pm.
While on my work lunch break, today, I emptied out the Material Shopping Bag, I used to carry my lunch, and in it I found a crumpled up till slip.
It was a liquor store Till Slip!
The address on the slip is of the address opposite his work.
Something for R 89.95 was bought and paid on his Visa.
Okay so maybe this is an old purchase…something that was bought last year or something…before he made the billionth promise to not drink again….
The slip is dated 03/01/2022 which is last Tuesday…the day he went back to work.
So he drank!
He drove on the highway under the influence of alcohol!
He broke a promise to me!
Can I really be mad at him when I have forgiven him so many times for the exact same thing?
Can I be mad when technically all was well that night?
but what I do know…
2022 is all about 
.
I deserve to be 
I deserve to be
I deserve to be
So if he wants to drink himself into a stupor…I am not going to let it 
on me…
Instead I am gonna be a little like Gene Kelly and….
You are extremely codependent in this relationship. You would benefit from going to Al-Anon bc your perspective is unhealthy and skewed. Hell yes you can be angry with him for drinking. It’s not just drinking…. it’s about his lack of respect for you. His lack of honesty with you. The constant gaslighting. Grow a backbone and get angry or accept the shitty treatment you are receiving as your future, because there will be no change for either of you otherwise. Sorry, but…. been there.
@thecriticsdarling – I just feel like I will be contradicting myself but causing a fuss when I know that I won’t actually end things.
You right I an being codependent and allowing him to disrespect me.
But I am scared of being without him. I am scared of being a lone.
And I do love him.
I tried Al-anon but I just couldn’t agree with how they seemed to blame themselves for the addicts issues and how they were giving up there time to study on how to be more understanding and accepting to the addict. I will not blame myself for his decision to drink nor will I change my life to better suite his addiction. But on that note since I won’t live without him I just figure I should just let him sort himself out while I focus on what I want for myself and what I have the power to make happen.
@ncumisa I don’t know what Al-Anon you went to but the whole idea is the 3 c’s as in: “you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, you can’t change them…” pretty much the opposite of what you said….
I would posit you change your life all the time to suit his addiction based on what you write here.
@thecriticsdarling– you are right. I do base alot of my life based on his mood, addiction, our finances. Hence why I want to base this year on me. I want to focus on me.
@ncumisa love it!
Warning Comment