At Least Not Last

That is what we always tell our kids… but that isn’t really enough. I mean look at the  the current Rugby Champions, I mean they won the last World Cup, so they have 3 world cups under their name, but in honest truth the fact that everyone says that coming 4th right now is acceptable is a joke.

I mean I am a   fan, so the fact that they are 3rd on the list is not making me very happy either, but at least they are not losing games, like the Springboks are right now.

Anyway, so why have we all been programmed to think that just being in the  is enough? I want to be the best and I don’t think I am getting the best right now. I am talking about my relationship. For so long I have accepted  from my husband.

 money to show that he is contributing while I have to dig into my personal savings to keep us from being homeless and going hungry.

 attention to show that he loves me. But I feel that emptiness when I see other husbands holding their wives’ hand or how other husbands boast about their wives on 

This past weekend he was in bed sleeping off a hangover while there is so much around the house he could be doing.

My sister and I were talking today, and she kept going on about how she feels as if my husband and his sister are taking advantage of me. And as much as I want to tell her they are not; I can’t help but just agree. I hate that I am too scared of being alone that I seem to be willing to accept this shit that he is giving me. And then he will tell me that He loves Me, and I will just melt but slowly his  is becoming not enough.