Alone…

I have a husband, but unless we are doing our regular activities; eating, watching TV or Netflix, giving each other back rubs so we can go to sleep,  I feel rather alone.

I don’t know when last he actually sexually touched me. I get more action with my vibrator than I do with him.

I am back to waking up in a bed on my own…. well he said that is because I snore, but he snores so loud that I can hear him from 2 closed doors and with the TV on. Maybe I just fall into deep sleeps so quickly, but after sharing a bed for over 10 years you would think he would be able to sleep through my snoring. I mean for our first few months together it was tough for me to fall asleep when he was snoring, but I have gotten used to it.

The last time we weren’t sharing a bed he was having an “emotional affair” with some women who lived in a different country. Is it wrong of me to get worried about that again? I mean I did kinda forgive him.

The Zulu tradition. He knows how sensitive I am towards him having another women…but he often refers to his aunt, who recently lost her husband, as his 1st wife now. I don’t know how that works out, but like WTF? That is some seriously messed up shit.

The plan today was for me to seriously scrub the flat down….but it is 10h53 and I really don’t feel like getting out of bed. But it is Sunday and I need to do so much before it becomes Monday,  so I am going to have to eventually get out of bed.

– rates and taxes to pay

– levies to pay

–  go over budget

– shop for the week

– clean house

– perhaps do some studying for my conversion (I really need to get my studying shit together)

– speak to my dad

– get ready for the week

– maybe go to gym

Gees….I think I should have gotten out of bed ages ago and started with all this.