Addicts are the Same
Started reading a book, written by someone that I have recently made contact with and is going to help me with my issues.
I don’t tend to get so invested in Autobiographies…I have a whole bunch on my kindle that I have started reading but have never finished…
Started those and haven’t managed to get into it.
Okay, the Smith’s autos are just samples and haven’t even started reading them…but I am interested to know about their twisted marriage and all that they have to say about each other etc.
I would love to know what the story with that is. I in fact shamefully don’t know what it is about so I got the sample on my kindle and never went further than downloading the sample…there are quite a few Auotbio samples that I have and never even bothered opening.
There is one Autobio that I have recently read and loved it…even though I read it after his death, and it was really hard for me to get through it first.
Anyway, so back to Nikki Munitz autobiography and to the main point of this post…
Just read a few chapters of where she is describing her addict husband and I feel like I am reading a description of my husband. 
Okay maybe I am in denial, but my husband doesn’t do either of tha0, but the sure does EMOTOINALLY ABUSE me.
When my husband has been drinking or smoking cigarettes, I immediately know what mood to expect from him and I know how to act…I mean I am stubborn and forceful so I will stand up for myself, but I have learnt how far to push and what to say and how it will be received.
He knows the bible (2nd testament) off by heart and because he believes in Jesus and that he died on the cross for all our sins and that he is G-d’s son, he deems it okay to lie to me and drink. The things he says to me when he has been drinking is disgusting and how he blames me for everything or brings up my past mistakes or things I have said in the past, even though I have apologized for them is so soul crushing. Oh, but it is okay for him to forget or apologize for things he has done and said in the past. Oh, and when he is sober the things he says about other people that are not to his level or living/working/dress/speech are just so shameful. I often call him out on it.
He often tells me how Beautiful and Smart I am. He praises my cooking. He will remark about me looking sexy in an outfit. When I do something nice, he will profusely thank me and make me feel special for doing that thing for him and how he appreciates it so much.
as Nikki says about her husband… 
I always thought he meant the good stuff…although there have been times, I have thought of them as him manipulating me and keeping me hanging, but I never realized that it could be all part of his addiction character.
But on that same note I am also addicted to Sugar, but I don’t behave like that at all.