אני קושית יפה/I’m a Cute Black Girl Pg 91
It is easy 
and and and 
G-d why you are not getting what you need. But sometimes you need to ask yourself what you are doing to make yourself worthy for what you are asking for or for good things to happen.
Today at work my colleague spoke about how 40 days is meaningful to Christianity and Jesus and Jews too.
Today I decided to do something a little different. And I hope that I can actually follow through.
I will see this through!
Starting from sunset today the We begin counting the Omer.
The omer refers to the 49-day period between the second night of Passover (Pesach) and the holiday of Shavuot. This period marks the beginning of the barley harvest when, in ancient times, Jews would bring the first sheaves to the Temple as a means of thanking God for the harvest. The word omer literally means “sheaf” and refers to these early offerings.
So, I will be doing things a little differently.
Barukh ata Eloheinu Melekh ha’Olam asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tizivanu al sefirat ha’omer.
Blessed are you, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the Universe, who has sanctified us with your commandments and commanded us to count the omer.
Hayom yom echad la’omer
Today is the first day of the omer. (Or the appropriate day)
Since my Hebrew is not the best, I will stop with just counting the days…. but instead of sweeping a Lulav I will give up Sugar. So, for 49 days I will abstain from anything with artificial sugar…and to make it more meaningful I will devote an hour of each day to the gym.
I need to make a change in my life, and I need to follow through with something. Converting wasn’t and isn’t just enough. Yes, I have devoted a lot of my life to the shul and community, but I don’t quite feel complete yet.