Oh me oh my.

What to do with my life?

See, I used to love web design. I’ve always had a nack for it. Always picked up on it quickly, and been able to utilize the features without a thought.  But, the market for it.  At first, when I learned HTML, there was no market. Then, the e-BOOM hit us. You remember that year. The year the superbowl’s commercials were ALL ONLINE COORPERATIONS. Now, like 5% of those companies still exist. There was a boom, then everyone went for it. They bit off more then they could chew and many many people went bankrupt when the depression in the market started. It’s now finally getting back up there and will be equalizing soon. I want to go back to that field, but I’m rusty. I don’t know how many firms are left. What companies don’t have websites. I’d like to break into that field, but Will I make it?

I mean, I like it. I have a very spiecific style, and enjoy creating it. It’s my form of art. But recently I’ve discovered I like writing too. A few friends have told me I could become an author or at least get some stuff published with my style (They read some of my entries). I’m not gonna lie, I have thought about it.  But the idea that I have people telling me what to do, what to write and such, doesn’t appeal to me.  See, I cannot do anything because im forced to. I can’t read a book I HAVE to read for a class. I cannot goto school because I HAVE to and hope to succeed. I cannot even design a website if it HAS to be done with certain qualities (frames. YUCK!). I cannot just simply write. Right now, I can. But this is my free will here. I’m not being MADE to write my mind on this website. Someone (Shannon, I owe you one) showed it to me, and I went crazy, now I write 3 times a day. If writing a book is like this, I have no doubts I could write something. And something good. Ya know? But then they have Editors, publishers, who demand you write for their kids college funds, etc… I like writing, but I can’t be forced to write, and hope it’ll be more then expensive toilet paper. And with that mindset, I ask you. Could I make it?

Lets back up a few minutes of reading. To school. College. The Party days of our lives.

Now, Only recently have I been going to any form of parties. And I only goto smaller ones. I’ve decided that from now on, I’ll still drink, but not much anymore. Tipsy. Maybe. Not Smashed. I mean, I don’t want to do anything stupid to mess up any friendships, and just want people to get to know the REAL me. Not the intoxicated me. I love to talk to people. Love to talk to them about my problems. In talking (or writing) I figure things out.

Clarify. Magnify. Intensify. 

And these new found revaltions lead to smaller questions that make up the big picture.

The DNA of my problems.

Using this ability, I love to talk to people.  I help people with problems. Not by giving advice, but by asking them why they do it. By picking it apart for them and showing what the REAL question is. What the REAL outcome is. Which leads me back to college. Often people ask what they want with their lives. How can they achieve it. And they obviously need college. But which one? Well, don’t worry. You’ll make it.

But please, don’t let anyone else make you do it.  If you’re being forced to do something, you’ll only do enough to get by. And that isn’t enough. Do something for the love of it.

For the Passion. The comfort. 

If you love to read/write, become an author. If you love helping people, psychology maybe? You love art, Paint/draw/digital/whatever. Music? It’s never too late to learn. Poetry? Many people have many talents. Just find yours. Utilize it and pursue it. No matter what these johnny don’ts tell you. Follow your heart. And don’t waste your time and money on things you don’t want. You’re life is not what your parents want. It’s not what your friends want. It is not what your spouse/partner wants.

It’s what you want. Always remember that.

– James
AIM/MSN: Ziktick(@hotmail.com for MSN users) feel free to contact me.
Ain’t nothin but a ‘J’ Thang.