Feel free to ask.

Yeah right.

If it’s one thing I hate, it’s failing time and time again. Even if the circumstances aren’t really in my control. But I’ve continued to do so. School, work, Bills, Girlfriends, whatever. It all falters. And when it does, and I crash, what do I have to do? I have to ask for help.

I fucking hate asking for help.

Yet time and time again, I have to. Like for instance, right now. I can’t work, cause I can’t talk. That doesn’t mean my bills will wait though, and since I have no income, I can’t pay off what I need. So I have to ask. But why can’t I just be able to do this shit on my own? Because I’m an idiot. That’s why. I don’t plan ahead enough with these things. I can make plans to do things and stick to them. If I say im going to call, or visit, 19 out of 20 times, I will be able to. But when it comes to money? No way. But why is it? I can’t really determine that myself. I know I need a certain amount for each bill per month at least, and should give this much if I can. So why don’t I just save that up, and store it after I pay each bill for the next month? I know I should, but I don’t.

I see friends and family doing that all the time. I just wish at times I could do that too. I don’t like having to crawl back and ask for help to whoever will listen. I want to be on my own. But it’s just not possible right now. Why? Because I can’t work. I can’t get money. I can’t provide for myself right now.

I need a good job. I need a reliable safe car.

I need stability.

I guess I’ll just keep trucking along and hope. Once again though, I have to fall back. Two steps forward, 2 steps back. It’s the limbo that is my life.

– James
AIM/MSN: Ziktick(@hotmail.com for MSN users) feel free to contact me.
Please donate to the “Save That James Kid” foundation. Contact me for details.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. We all fail. Humans do that extremely well. I do that well. Here’s hoping things become lighter for you soon. Take care. 🙂

There are only two important things in life, as far as I’ve come to know: relationships and health.

What job do you have that you need to talk? Are you a telemarketer? I hope things brighten up soon. Not having money is one of the most stressful things in life. People say money can’t buy you happiness, but I think it can buy you a less stressful life which I don’t know about you, but the people I know who are stress free are really happy.

N-E-Ways, it’s really ok to ask for help. Thats why we have friends and family. So they can help us when we fall, and so we can help them when they fall. One more thing, try going to church. That’s always been a big help to me in the past.