Fear.

Fear, Love. The two most beautiful and dangerous emotions of humanity. Often tied together directly as well.

Love. Just naturally you think, perfection. Simplicity. Comfort. Love… it just is. But tied to that is risk. Faith. Truth, honesty. All these take each other to accomplish.

Fear. It prevents you to express those things listed above. You’re afraid someone won’t like the real you. So you hide. You’re afraid to let people in, so you stay quiet. You’re afraid the truth hurts too much, so you lie, you mislead. You’re afraid they won’t like YOU. But that’s just it. They CAN’T like the you that you portray. The only way to true comfort, is to let them in on how you feel. Talk about it.

That’s soemthing that’s far too under-rated these days. Talking. Now its all about fighting and the make up/out session that follows. People will literally break up, just for giggles! I don’t understand.

I’m an open person. I can respect those that aren’t. But I almost feel bad for them. It usually means they were hurt young and closed up to prevent it again. So they become lonely, deep inside. Never let anyone in. It’s a damn shame. I try so hard to let people know the real me.

I’ll tell people the worst things about me, just because. I have nothing to hide. You don’t like who I am? fuck you too. But it makes me feel better, knowing i don’t need to watch what I say, because really, I don’t like not telling certain people certain things.

But this brings me back to relationships. Love. Hate. Fear. Rejection. Don’t worry. Many people are not that judgmental. And the ones that are, aren’t worth your time anyways. You tell someone your self conscious, the person will probably ask why and assure you, that theres nothing to worry about because it’s not relevant to a friendship. Afraid someone will think the kind of music or taste in movies is bad? who cares! Why would it matter in a friendship what kind of music? Friendships lead you into new, bigger and better things. Hobbies, likes and dislikes. Embrace it. Yes you may get attacked by ignorant bastards, but remember that’s all they are, and will ever amount to.

I’m a big fan of love. I’m an open person. I care about many people, and often too loving for my own good. I fall in love. But not always what you may think. I love many friends of mine. Relationship wise though, is more difficult. I want to love. But I don’t want to force it, or rush it. I want it to fall into place. And it will.

I know when it happens, that I’ll feel good, no matter where they are. Who they’re with. Through the tough times I’ll be stronger, through they’re tough times, I’ll be right by their side helping them get through it.

She is there. She is waiting. I can’t wait until the curtain rises and I see her face. Maybe I have? Maybe I just need my life to finish this little scene in my grand opera. Maybe after the intermission, and I get to know this person, she gets to know me…

Hopefully. But I guess we’ll find that out. Just sit back, and watch the drama unfold. As I search for my love. My missing link.

I just hope all fear will diminish, and truth revealed. The grey filter on the scene is lifted to the world of colors. The wonderful world.

Comfort, Happiness, Reliability…. Love.

My flower in the spring time. I have to always coo and nurish it. At first, it will be closed and the beauty hidden. As it progresses, it will willingly open itself up. And Unless you grasp it, watch it, and nurture it; Appreciate it, take it inside and let it flourish… by sundown, it will close again, it’s beauty unknown to the world.

The hard part, is finding someone that will love me back. But I’m willing to risk life for this. I have no fear, because when love appears…

And the curtains falls.

As always,
James
AIM/MSN: Ziktick(@hotmail.com for MSN users) feel free to contact me.
QUOTE OF THE MOMENT: It’s not that simple. You can’t define every human emotion and action into two categories, theres a whole gradient that needs to be taken into account.