Ah, mi amour.

I’ve noticed as of late that pretty much all of my friends have the shaft when it comes to love in their life, myself included.

Now, lets try to straighten some things out.

First, Men and Women instinctually are attracted to each other. sometimes that changes and people are attracted to others of the same sex. cool. I’m not, but hey, whatever floats yer boat. Now, I’ve seen a few of the female friends complain about the fact that men cannot stand to be JUST FRIENDS with a girl. I’m going to crack why that is.

First and foremost, just like anyone else, the more you hang around with someone, the better you get along, typically. right?  Well, the better you get along, the more you think you have in common, and what does everyone want in a steady relationship? Familiarity. Comfort. Happiness.  Three things you look for in your friends. 

Second, Girls flirt naturally. It’s just kinda how it is.  They speak to each other in a certain way, they speak to guys in a certain way.  Often times when a girl is hanging out with a guy friend, she’ll treat him like one of her girl friends. And to a guy, that’s the same as flirting. Why? Were not stupid, its just were dense.  Girls when they are interested flirt and hint.  Guys, or mainly myself, I do not pick up on hints. innuendo’s sometimes, never hints.  I don’t know if a girl is flirting or treating me like a friend.  Cause, well, my friends, we play video games, swear a lot, insult each other, we act like.. well… men.  Women however are foreign. Is she interested in me?  What does it mean when she pushes you? laughs to your stupid lame jokes? hugs? I don’t know.  I’ve never been the hugging type, or the flirting type personally. Too shy to. the only times I flirt, I don’t know what happened as a result.  Does she like me too? am I creeping her out? Why are my pants on backwards? You know, the typical problems of an everyday guy.

The problem I think is in communication. But that’s not something that can be changed.  Men and Women mean different things with each action or what they say.  If I can my friend Mat a Fatass, he laughs and responds. If I were to go up to any girl and even call her hey Barbie or something, she would prolly get offended. they like names like snuggle bunny, and sugar puff cream pie pants or something weird like that.

it’s very rough. it’s hard to explain.  and I’m sure I’m not the only one with an opinion on this.  In fact, I wanna see lots notes. reply 2 or 3 times if you gotta, but what do you all think? Lets recap.

Men cannot read women. it’s just how it is.  While most men will be fine staying friends as long as its clear the woman wants to be only friends, the men that don’t know have to test the waters. see what may come.  Who knows, I go through life thinking the next girl I meet could be it. You never know.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll be dead.  that’d be a shame huh? no more reading my long assed almost essays here. Wouldn’t really be missed, but I’m only thinking that cause I’m lonely. Back to the recap!

friend Relationships in general are based off Trust, comfort, and compatibility, which is a part of comfort in a sense.  Trust is key. if you can’t trust your friends, who can ya trust? Comfort, if you don’t feel OK hanging with a friend, you won’t, and won’t be a friend. and Compatibility. If you have no common interests, well, you will never do anything.

And in more-than-friends relationships its the same, only amplified. few more things here and there.  You obviously have to be attracted physically to the person your with.  If your not, you won’t want to spend the rest of your life or even the month with em.  Now, notice, this is defiantly not one of the 3 keys, but it is a factor, its instinctual. if you have a way to bypass that, Patent it and sell it, cause nobody else can. But the thing with GF/BF relationships, is that they often start out as friendships. I cannot just say hi to someone and start a GF/BF relationship. I have to know a bit about them.  But in that time, does the girl have interest in me? Does she want me as just a friend, or does she too want to be more? And in relationships you gotta compromise. it takes time to build and secure it. honesty and forwardness are the key. So in getting to know this girl, or trying to, does she already not want to be in a relationship? if I call her will that freak her out? Will that make her happy? is she just waiting for you to grab her hand, or hook her arm around your waste? Who the fuck knows?!

Not me. that’s for damn sure.

I need a hug. and I want to cuddle. 

Until next time. Same damn time, same damn channel.