Tokikake Liveblog end

Simply stunning.
I’m sorry but I guess I’m still slightly fixated on the things that people found wrong with this film – for me it’s like they totally didn’t exist, yet these people talk (write) like those faults were the only things that were in the film. When I watch this film, I just see more and more wonderful expressions that so totally overshadow everything else, it’s hard for me to even pay attention to the literal and logistical dynamics of the film.

Bah anyway – everyone’s got the right to dislike something if it’s not their flavour, it’s all good.

And so we hear that stirring music again, the same kanji for the title of the film, and we end where we began, only this time with Garnet playing over the end titles.

There’s just something amazing about Japanese film-makers and their sense of stillness. Of-course I have seen Japanese films where it doesn’t work and I haven’t liked it, conversely I’m no American hater, many of my favourite films come from the ‘States. When directors gets it right, they get it damn right, no matter where they’re from.

A night well spent.

See you on the other side.

freckles.

November 26, 2008

Roger that ten four.

I, like you, often believe my life has already been completed and the dreams that I often ‘act out’ later down the track are confirmation that I’m going wherever I’m supposed to be and that when I dream something real, and I never see anything remotely resembling that, ever, then I’ve twisted the path and taken another. Which has also been completed.

Going back to the sleep thing, I can sort of understand where you’re coming from in that you associate sleep and the waking from ‘blank’ with your blackouts. The terror that you’ve kept -being- without being aware of it and the sheer helplessness that you must feel being so ‘out of control’. But you make a valid point; are we ever actually in control? I seriously doubt we are, I’ve tried but

can’t seem to find a way to control the way my mind operates sometimes, suppression is just another way of saying ‘tried and failed’. Nightmares are a perfect example, they fill me with panic in waking hours and at a few stages of my life and had me in absolute fear of sleeping. I have meds if they start coming back to that extent now, but those meds seem to exacerbate another problem I have

where I faint. And the ten minutes before fainting is horrendous like I’ve gone to sleep and walking in a dream world, I’m awake but not really and the whole world becomes a stage or a theatre and I can’t help my interactions. Then I wake up lying on the ground somewhere with strange people and cry with frustration. Nothing like your blackouts, but I can empathise to a point.

As for the UK thing, leaving is not permanent. Just permanent for now (I guess that would make it temporary). I have a British Passport so can come and go as I please, but with the current financial climate, as well as the corporeal climate, I’m leaving with the full intention of coming back sometime in the future. It’s not over for me here, just for now.

Perfect sense. As much as I’d love to be the one to tick off the female fantasy list item of asking you to marry me, I’m a little bit more of a romantic than that and have but one pre-requisite for future long term relationships/partnerships/marriage: and that is to be asked to share my life with that one person for ever. I just want to be asked. That’s all.

Muhahaha I’ve just recruited another: I was telling my boss about the movie, he Googled it (plug) and is currently purchasing it online for his wife for Christmas! Soon, the whole world shall know! Oh and question: I randomly noted your diary months and months ago. What made you even come back to my diary?

RYN: All of the previous relationships I had been in revolved around changing the other person, or them trying to change me. Brant was the first person that I did not want to change. He liked me for who I was right then. He has twelve years clean and sober now. I know we will make it. Through our ten years together, we have both softened. We each do not need to be right all of the time.

He has gotten to the point now that he can admit when he is wrong, and I can too, well at least some of the time! I think that we have a definite advantage over other couples. We came into this flawed, and healed TOGETHER. Not a lot of people can say that. Thanks you for the kind and encouraging words. I added you to my faves.