setsunai

Falling in and out of love.
I love those feeling so much.
The swirl of confusing emotions, their suffocating power.
I love the feeling I get when I see a crush enter the room.
And the bitterness I feel when I reflect on a past lover.
It is one of the most amazing things in life, this ability to distract all thought beyond a single idea.
It keeps me up when I need to sleep and exhausts me when I need to be awake.
It takes control of my language and banishes all articulation as though it never existed.
Stops me physically where I stand and makes my heart beat so strongly that it’s almost like pain.
A sweet and bitter, wonderful disorienting pain.
The longing in the empty hours,
The emptiness in other company away from love,
The desire to express passion in every way, all at once
And the fear that it will be rejected.
The patience that allows an external show of grace while desperately awaiting some small sign of returned love,
The anger and the sorrow at the loss of a lover that brings me down to my knees.
The grief at such a loss that makes me cry so long and so hard that I end up sleeping in exhaustion.

This is how I live,
and this is how I love.
It is the most amazing, wonderful and precious part of life.