no reason

some i like, some i don’t
either way, i’m telling you
you just don’t understand
and you won’t understand until you have this
until you know it and understand it
fully with your heart and only half with your head
but it makes sense
it makes absolute and perfect sense
you can bullshit yourself however much you like
give weight to whatever pop-culture filth you want to
it’s all meaningless
because the truth is if you aren’t totally overwhelmed by the perfection of the idea
the absolute perfection of the impossibility
the impossible phenomenon
then you never will understand love

stop it
just stop trying to understand it
go and do it
it’s yours
your birthright as a sentient being in the universe
give yourself some credit
stop being such children
if you make it to the other side without having this happen to you
without doing this yourself
then you’ll know what real regret is
suddenly everything will turn to nothing
instead of being part of the idea
stop
just stop
you don’t have the time to bullshit yourself about this
stop wandering around in circles looking for
someone else’s idea of love
you know what it is
you know it’s shape and colour
it’s inside you
it’s alive
it will never die
that’s why it feels like shit when you rip yourself off
when you’re not honest with yourself
when you deny love
because you see – love isn’t something you look for
or you learn about
or you have to receive from someone or something else
it has nothing to do with religion
culture, history or philosophy
love is simply what makes you live
and when you think there is no love
then all you have gained is meaningless death
because love makes death a part of life
love gives understanding of all things
not an academic knowledge

love is not something for gods
or lovers or philosophers or scholars
don’t you see
you already have it
you’ve got it right there inside you
what are you waiting for

______________________________

Commentary
March 28, 2010

A pointless exercise in trying to capture the impossible force of love; or rather to show people that they can’t write about it, can’t read about it, can barely think about it – it’s something that must be experienced.

My problem back then was that I thought about popular culture way too much. I guess I never exactly wanted to solve the world’s problems, but some of these things I thought were fairly elementary and that in particular, on the subject of love, people were over-saturated by distorted and drastically reductive definitions and translations of love and what it is.

As it stands right now, I’m probably more jaded about the popular understanding of what love is, but perhaps I’m not jaded at all. I don’t actually really care. At some point I stopped caring for the world – I wonder when that was and whether I’ll eventually bump into it here. Whenever it was, life has been so different since then – so much better. I keep my own house, and interact with those closest to me, letting all others be and do as they wish.