Music I would strut to if I were a supermodel

This would be the entry about the supermodel fantasy that you may or may not have read about earlier, though I seem not to discuss much about the nature of me being both a woman and a supermodel, it turns into an excuse to list a whole bunch of really cool pieces of music. I’ll have to actually discuss it some other time.

The thing is though, as much as I’m sure I would enjoy rolling down the runway and back a few times, I’d actually want to see the show from the front, music, lights and all, so it’s a bit of those surreal dream-like fantasies where I’m a model and a director. Not sure about being an actual fashion designer though, as I have absolutely no idea what would be on show, and they spend the whole show out back dressing everyone up – tough job that. All I know is that it would be good. Yeah. Hmm. Maybe it’s more about the atmosphere than every single garment being a stunner, but being dream-like, I guess I could just be vague about it and say that all the garments on show would impress me.

Before I launch into it though, I have to acknowledge that there are some very ugly things about the fashion industry. This entry is not in praise of the industry at all, it’s something of a surrealist celebration of an atmosphere I create in my mind, and probably more closely resembles a rock concert than an atelier on show. Nevertheless, there are heaps of bits and pieces of my scant knowledge of the industry that colour the scene, and let us just say that we will imagine a place where there is no cocaine, women eat well, designers design for women who eat well, and that 15 year old girls aren’t taken into the industry under false pretences, chewed up and spat out once it’s done with them – now that part I really detest. Most of us aren’t exposed to that side of the industry, we only know the household names that seem to do all the normal modelling. Anyway, it’s a complicated issue, just acknowledge that I in no way praise that kind of culture, as I’m sure many good designers aren’t either; may they always fight the good fight.

I don’t do lists, or at least I don’t do memes. That is of-course unless I make them up myself. The problem is that most of you may not know many of these songs, so ultimately it’s a list more for myself than my audience, a bit of a shame really, but at least it’s evident that I’m writing purely for myself first. You may find the comments in parentheses slightly amusing though.
If you do know the songs and even better, like them, then good for you. If you don’t and/or don’t, then I guess you miss out on the fantasy; I heartily encourage you to make your own version.
I’d love to give a brief description of each track and why I chose it, but I’m terrible at keeping things brief, maybe if you know a track or two you can ask me, and I’ll note you or do an entry upon request. Please, if you hate the song, don’t just say ‘I hate this song, why did you choose it?’ I don’t mind that you don’t like it, that’s fine, I do not require others to appreciate my tastes to validate them, so please have a little respect.
Remember, it only represents a very narrow selection of my musical tastes, so this is all very rhythmic, some jazzy, some disco, electro, very bouncy stuff, it’s not reflective of my tastes as a whole, not even by half.

Alas, I am not a supermodel, nay I’m not even a woman which isn’t as disappointing as it sounds, but sometimes rather disappointing. Nevertheless, that doesn’t stop me from strutting about the house like a supermodel every time I hear these pieces of music.
Hmm, upon completing this list, there’s Kylie in it. So at this point after all my talk of womanly fantasies and gender-benderage, you’re all thinking yep, he’s gay for sure. Fair-enough if that’s the kind of conclusion you want to draw, but in response I will neither confirm nor deny it, rather challenge what femininity and masculinity are, how much they define ones’ sexuality and why we should be bound to our traditional perceptions. Male likes the colour pink does not immediately equal gay, though it may just be too much to ask for people to grow out of the dark ages.

If you haven’t read the preview, the entry before this one, it’s probably a good idea. I know I prattle on and on, but at least I acknowledge (some-more) some of that bad stuff in the industry. This whole thing is just a bit of fun for me, an expression of playfulness and self-indulgence. I might not actually ever want to put on a fashion show, but thinking about it at play is harmless, and I evolve the whole idea to suit my own expression rather than indulge in or encourage some of the more unsavoury elements of the reality.

These shows would almost certainly have to be on different days, as we’d be at it all night if they were one after the other, so create in your mind a fictional fashion week in the city of your choice (except for the second-last exclusive there). Also if they were real shows, the songs would probably be edited up so firstly the audience doesn’t get bored, and secondly because each show probably wouldn’t go on as long as the sum-total of all these songs.

So without further ado, here’s the nav-spectacular fashion show, otherwise known as what ended up being The Best of Crazy Penis, Metro Area, dZihan & Kamien and some other stuff thrown in – an elaborate playlist indeed!
Nomenclature as follows;
Event; brief description of event if given, exhibition type (haute couture, ready-to-wear or as per description).
Title – Artist (Stupid comment from me)

The main event; god-knows what would be on show, it just has to be fantastic. I’m thinking tempered but still bold haute couture.
Lady ‘T’ – Crazy Penis
Miura – Metro Area
Happiness – Goldfrapp
After – dZihan & Kamien (it would be such a crime not to do a show with this track).
Ride – BT
Hey Bad Boy – Tommy February6 (from a great show about fashion, Paradise Kiss. Had to choose between this and Lonely in Gorgeous, a hard choice indeed, but I absolutely adore Hey Bad Boy).
Butterfly – Perfume (cue the trackspots (moving lights), slow fade-ins and colour changes. And let’s just step carefully away from the crazy J-pop now).
Galaxy bounce – The Chemical Brothers (this track was made for the runway).
Do you want to – Franz Ferdinand (was the end-credits track for Paradise Kiss. Pure… sass… plain and simple).
Find me – Coup Debam
Square-pattern aura – Metro Area (a nice break from all the hyperactive stuff to segue into the final movement)
The Shore – Morgan Geist
Philly – DJ T (I could watch women prance up and down the runway all day to this track)
Boy – Chara (yeah glam it up! Lots of solid, intentional foot-plants and hip-thrusts for this one)
Turnaway – Crazy Penis
Music’s my love – Crazy Penis (actually, I could probably do a whole show based on the album A night on earth).
Show me (Crazy Penis remix) – Mint Royale (is this a fashion show or a party? Why not both?)

For my clichéd early 90’s rock’n’roll kitsch rehash selection that actually has very little music from the 90’s; that hazy area in-between ready-to-wear and haute couture where you think… ‘do they really think we’ll wear that?’ ‘Maybe we will…’ and ‘How outrageous!’
Godspell – The Cardigans
Take me out – Franz Ferdinand
Roll with it – Oasis (yeah don’t crack the shits with me just because I bought (What’s the story) morning glory? I like it and I’m not sorry).
Loop Loop – Asian Kung-Fu Generation (because Japanese rawk needs some love, and people should scream and cheer at fashion shows. The ones in my mind anyway).
Everyday – Planet Funk (it has electric guitars, non-distorted… but the sound is right. It’s my show, I’ll play whatever music I want).
Tear drop – Chara (this would be the crazy kitsch entry, plus it’s more 80’s style, so maybe this would be some vague 80’s/90’s show)
Where is the max – Planet Funk (unless you’ve been reading for literally ages, you mightn’t know that this is one of my all-time favourite tracks, for many reasons. Anyway, it’s glamour all over).
Tightrope artist – Planet Funk (for attitude).
Dusk – Planet Funk (for epic build-up and flashing lights for the centrepiece right when the drums kick in).
Close to me – R-Orange (because nothing says the 90’s like this song. It’s the end titles to a very old anime called Gundress. It has nice screamy guitars too).

Formal; ready-to-wear.
Gaslighting Abbie – Steely Dan (playtime’s over, this song is pure sophistication).
Seirenes – Coup Debam
Sean – Aya (Aya’s voice is divine, truly, she is a goddess. If I were a girl, I’d play this while doing myself up before going out).
De muse – Fragmentorchestra (what dZihan & Kamien would sound like if they had done anything in the last 8 years).
Water breeze – Fragmentorchestra
Pina – Metro Area (getting into the really good garments now).
Strut – Metro Area (how could I not include this??? It’s called Strut! I think I’d save the most breathtaking garments for this track).
Alone – Tennishero
Midnight Love – Tennishero (evening-wear for this, elegant gowns and full dresses).
Basmati – dZihan & Kamien
Alright – Jamiroquai (been used before, but it’s just too good).
Emotional feelings – The rurals (a nice outro with no drums; just vocals, rhodes, bass and percussion. I might have couples for this, with the men in something creative – something other than just looking like a meat-stick in a boring suit).

Lingerie; it’s not all attitude and sass here, most of these tracks are quite dignified. I guess that’s just how I see lingerie, even fuck me lingerie.
Nobody knows me – Aya
Homebase – dZihan & Kamien (might seem like a strange choice, but it would be for the more elegant pieces).
Enchanted life – Samantha James
Sambita – Fragmentorchestra
Nocebo – Morgan Geist (I’ve said this before, this track simply is the sex, it’s so good I almost wouldn’t want to use it).
Janie Runaway – Steely Dan (cheeky much?)
Keep on – Crazy Penis (feels like a huge change in pace, but we’d break out the really elaborate selections from now on).
Chocolate – Kylie (I know I’m going to get crucified for this, but it’s the only Kylie in my collection. It’s unsubtle, but the production and sense of dreamy fun really are great in this track, and no, the irony has not escaped me that Kylie has her own lingerie line).
With you – Smoke City
A night on earth – Crazy Penis (a bit of worldly, cultured sass now as opposed to Homebase).
Inhuman Perfection – Planet Funk (for something a little surreal, strange, and seductive… holy crap! Alliteration! Help, I’m turning into a publicist!)
Where’s Johny Sabatino – dZihan & Kamien

Summer; ready-to-wear.
Dabudei – dZihan & Kamien
Metropolis – Fragmentorchestra (clothing for cruising around in your car, picking up your mates, and having lunch together on the weekend)
Airport – dZihan & Kamien
Ruthless city – Morgan Geist
Think Twice – Ralph Myerz & Jack Herren Band (Saaaaaaaaaaaass!)
I think of you (Redtop remix) – Blaze (no surly faces for this track thanks, it’s quirky smiles and seductive looks from beneath lashes)
13th movement – Crazy Penis
Bumcop – Crazy Penis
In deep – Crazy Penis (my god, I think almost the whole album is here).
Take my time – Junior Senior (bubbles of fun, regardless of the lyrical subject matter. Big smiles, sultry poses, just have fun out there for this one girls).
September – Earth Wind and Fire (because after a whole season and show of very serious, sexy models, it’s their time to cut loose and enjoy themselves, naturally accented by the garments and vice versa).
Kimi ni fuku ka – Mikuni Shimokawa (you cannot possibly put more sunlight and blue skies, beach-sunsets and ice-cold cocktails into this song).
Caravan girl – Goldfrapp (to close it off with girls and maybe even guys prancing down the runway and smiling maniacally. Summer ready-to-wear is as much about fun as it is sass!)

One-off shopping-mall promo; exclusive to Tokyo only, houte couture.
Sakura drops – Utada Hikaru
4 minutes, 58 seconds. I would assume other designers would be part of the promo event.

Department store/Public exhibition space promo; mostly read-to-wear, casual/semi-formal as per the season, with a few pieces of haute couture to tease the audience into buying exhibition tickets.
Cups (Salt City Orchestra remix) – Underworld
9 minutes, 23 seconds. Again, other designers would have similar short promos during the fashion week of whichever city the shows were in.

And then for this huge, massively epic “oh my god I can’t believe this houte couture is so good” half-hour show.
Where you go I go too – Lindstrom
It goes for 28 minutes and 58 seconds.
There would be many flashing lights. Many.

So how was that? Did you survive? Or did Kylie make your eardrums explode?
Remember that the last bits of the last track in each show would feature the designer/s coming out to rapturous applause and much teary hugs from the models.
And then I wake up.