Fragments of Etienne

— Dressed up?
Eyebrows
– Dressed.
— What’s the occasion?
– Warm weather in the morning. Driving.
Driving to work
– Doesn’t matter.
— I like it.
– It’s a Nina Miranda dress, so you have to play it in the car.
Alright
Sandals
Elbow on the window-frame
Then she takes off her sunglasses
Eyes tighten in the brightness
Settled back against the head-rest
Hand at rest in the hair
– When are you going to grow your hair out?
Blink
— Maybe in winter.
Turn to look at me
– Oh? In Europe?
I think about the hassles of hair-product when travelling
– Oh yes. No product.
She likes my hair long
– I do like your hair long.
I like my hair long
Something about freedom
Wilderness
I think of some of my favourite mothers and lovers from film and their wild hair
Etienne’s wild hair
– These things I do for you.
My eyebrows again
— And not yourself?
She’s looking away but the smile is in the corner of her mouth
– And for myself…
— Nor for yourself, and then for me?
She turns her head quickly
Showing her teeth
– It can be both.
Stare
– It’s both.
Then laughter
— I’m never going to convince you.
But I smile
– I believe you.
Another short laugh
— Really?
– Of-course.
Laughter again
I am remembering her voice through the morning
Carrying me
Distracting me
Keeping me grounded in the strangeness where I belong
I hear her thought to me now
– Am I so strange?
— No.
I say
— It is this world in which I live that is strange.
– Hmm.
But they are both mine
And neither of them are mine