Externals vs internals

Either they all speak at once
Or they don’t speak at all
I can’t account for everyone
I can hardly keep track of how many there’s supposed to be
Everyone on the outside keeps weighing me down with loads
I hardly have time to count faces or voices on the inside
The drugs stop me from climbing the walls
But they also move me farther away
I’m hanging on to everything by the barest of threads
And it’s wearing me out