Don’t rush

– Hello?
— Hello.
Pause
— Hi.
Pause
Machine noise
— You’re not hanging-up.
– I’ve not been dismissed.
Pause
Noise
— You’ll wait for me?
– Hm?
— … to speak.
– Yes.
Pause
Noise
Noise
Noise
— Just like that, yes.
– Yes.
Noise
— Come tonight.
– What’s tonight?
— It doesn’t matter. I don’t know what it is. Come. To my sister’s.
– Alright.
— Just like that, alright…
– Yes.
Pause
– Just like that.
Noise
— Um,
Click

— Fuck.
– What?
— You came.
– You asked me to come.
— Yes.
Pause
— Yes, I did.
Pause
– If you ask me to leave I will.
— Yeah.
Pause
— Yeah.
Pause
The murmur of people.
— Don’t go.
Stillness
Murmur
— Say high to my sister. The others. Don’t go.

Watching the shape move
Slowly
Slowly move
Then the illusions
The fantasies
Like a blindness
A chemical, alcohol distortion
And under the breath — Fuck.
Movement
Down the hall
To the toilet door
Raise a reversed hand
Knock
And then a nod
Step back
Waiting
Waiting
Turn of the head
Being watched
Watching being watched
Staring
Inhale
Hold
Stare
The door opens
Some vague, sparkling smile passes as it exits
Stare
Standing still
Enter the toilet

Exit
Closeness
— Come in here for a second.
Open door
Enter
Enter
A bed covered in jackets and bags
Bags on the floor
Close door
Turn
Stare
Stillness
– Say it.
Sharp inhale
Pause
— What?
– Just say it.
Pause
— Fuck.
Blink
— That’s what I’m thinking.
Pause
— As in fuck holy fuck is what.
Pause
– Alright.
Pause
Stillness
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
— Jesus, do something will you?
Step forward
Slowly
Shifting of the weight
Another step
Then a slow raising of the hand
Gravity
Exhale
Leaning forward
And pushed just past the level of a whisper — Don’t… just don’t…
Pause
Hand hovering an inch from the skin
The illusion of warmth
Of the warmth of the breath
Enough for the scent of closeness to be shared
– Why?
Eyes shut
Held shut
— Because I won’t be able to say no.
Pause
– Then I’ll say it for you.
Open
— But it feels like rejection.
– It isn’t rejection.
— It feels like rejection.
– I’m not going to touch you.
— But…
– And I’m not going to leave.
— I don’t want you to leave.
– Yeah.
— Don’t leave.
– No I’m not going to leave.
Stare
Then quietly
— Holy fuck.
– Go back into the house. Talk, laugh, drink, do what you like.
— But then what?
– I don’t know. Then we’ll see.
— What if I’m drunk?
Pause
– Are you trying to tell me you’ll get drunk?
Pause
— How do you know I won’t?
– That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?
Pause
– Because I know you?
Pause
Stillness
The sound of breathing
— It’s not fair.
Blink
— Feeling vulnerable and hungry at the same time.
– No. It’s not.
— But you…
– You’re making me wait remember.
Blink
— That was your suggestion…
Pause
— But yes. I guess.
Pause
— Fuck.
– No-one’s stuffed it yet.
— Yeah but, now everything’s just…
– Don’t over-think it. Nothing has happened. No-one’s done anything. Go back out there and enjoy yourself, I’ll do the same.
Inhale
Exhale
– At the end of the night, when you decide it’s the end of the night, go to the bathroom, close the door, turn off the lights and do whatever you have to do.
Open mouth
Stare
Close mouth
— You’re telling me you won’t be upset if…
– No I’m sure I’ll be upset.
Stare
– We aren’t children anymore. We’ll deal with it. I’ll deal with it.
Narrowing of the eyes
— Yeah but… in a way the damage has already been done, hasn’t it? The whole thing about staying friends, after this… thing, this thing right now, this very thing, has happened… that’s bullshit. It doesn’t work.
– That’s the chance you take though, isn’t it.
— So you knew,
– What?
— The chance you were taking. By coming tonight.
– Yes I did.
Pause
Stillness
— Just like that. Yes you did.
Pause
— Wow.
– What?
— I’ve never known you to be so vulnerable. So submissive.
– You can take it as a compliment.
Pause
Inhale
— But what if…
– Enough.
— No what if…
– Enough thinking. Turn around, go back to the people.
Pause
Open mouth
– Go.
Pause
Hold
Close mouth
Turn
Step
Open door
— Don’t leave.
– I won’t leave.
Exit