Chemicals

My pheromones never work when they need to.
It seems my biorhythms are intent on keeping them all to myself except for when I’m listening to music while lying on the floor or driving by myself through the city. Perhaps it’s some bizarre evolution of narcissism.
Thank goodness for Chibi-R.
He’s able to both save me from the strain of normal interactions and save me from myself at the same time.

Three pairs of jeans later, or rather I should say earlier, and I actually now have four pairs of serviceable jeans, the most I’ve ever had in rotation in my life. I still favour the Carhartts though.

Tomorrow I go to hand in my 24 hours urine sample, get my bloods and ECG done. Hopefully my body is dealing with the lithium well and not turning itself into a rechargeable battery.

It’s not exactly disappointment I feel, perhaps exasperation, perhaps even relief. I’m tired though, of closed-minded people and their close-minded cultures to which they’re constantly trying to assimilate me into. Almost as if by osmosis a group of people of a certain culture seem to subtly try and lure me into joining their ranks, though I must admit that sometimes I join them for a social visit when I really should know better. I’ll have nothing to do with said culture, and while I will in no way discriminate against such people who are generally nice anyway, I will not partake in their rituals and customs.
Obscure.
Yes.
I suppose I just want to avoid naming names, if you know what I mean.

Free to good home;
Totally ordinary person who responds poorly to challenges and needs a behavioural group dynamic in order to feel confident in anything.
Doesn’t watch films over certain ratings.
Does not say fuck.
Totally afraid of intellectual vulnerability and true emotional intimacy.

No thanks, not even for free.