and a half

wait.
that is the message life has for me today.
today i confirm that i’ve lost it.
this is no way a bad thing.
i enjoy being this mentally gone.
it amazes me – sometimes i watch myself as if from outside my body – watch myself do things, normal things.
put things in my mouth, put clothing on my person, say things that make sense to random people.
what brilliance – a whole other part of me can take care of banal living while the rest divides itself in an orgy of schizophrenic incarnation.
like a.i. – i can’t wait.

and i read far too many sci-fi books.
will i stop?
no.

______________________________

Commentary
March 16, 2010

From the age of 17 right up until probably mid 2009, there was still a lot of confusion as to what my proper diagnosis should be. Depending on how I was at the time of-course, I probably changed my impressions of it myself.