Always the time-traveller

It is all the times I sat with my cup of tea
Looking out at the garden
In the warmth
In the cool
With my bare feet tucked beneath my legs on the sofa
Sitting on the wall by the sea wrapped in a coat
All the times I stared at you from across the room
Openly
Proudly
Returning your stare and inviting you
I have always seduced you
I have always been seduced by you
You will laugh at how I was drawn to you
Laugh at what I think drew you to me
I intentionally provoke you to correct me
And then play my insights when you are most vulnerable
For you every exception is made
And I expect to keep you greedily to myself
All these things
This chaos I have lived for so long
Ownership of it has been transferred

I will tell you this now
Because even in excess, I feel the tiredness
One day I will run out of words
Or the energy to breath them
You will only have my eyes then
As everything else fails
Through those I will speak these things to you
I speak them to you now with my mouth
With my hands
So that you knew I once could speak
And I spoke to you