*drumroll* annnnnnnd we have a…..

Ok I’ve been avoiding writing, I went back to OB-land last week and my doc reminded me exactly why I hate mainstream medicine.

Never mind the fact that I’ve always been active in my health, and for the record – I’m sure he wasn’t TRYING to sound callous, just to the point – but DAMN. For real? lol

Apparently my initial hcg number was 387 and two days later it was 636. He wasn’t happy with that (even though when the nurse called she had told me it “looked great”) because it hadn’t quite doubled. Well…I was under the impression that it could take 48 TO 72 hours…not JUST 48. But he started explaining what it would be like when I would miscarry…in detail.

Seriously. I couldn’t say anything so I didn’t. He told me that he expected to see those kinds of levels a day or two after implantation…that I probably only just got pregnant over Christmas. I did tell him that I got my first positive on 12/28 so that couldn’t be. And he went on being skeptical saying, “That was some test…” (and I told him I took several brands including digital) and “You have to implant to get a positive test.” No shit. Which is why I told him IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN OVER CHRISTMAS. Bah.

I cried when I left for all of 2 minutes. And then I couldn’t. I started thinking about a couple of times it could have happened…and figured that if it was the later date, I would have only been around 7-9 days past ovulation when I got the first positive – which is plausible with a sensitive test. Not normal for ME but then – this is a new pregnancy, new father, several years later.

It was completely plausible that I tested that early, and that was why my levels were so low and there was nothing on the ultrasound but a thickened lining…I would have only been JUST 4 weeks the day we did it. He took my levels again that day and they came back 3317 – just fine for the time passed. Two days later, 5563 (again, fine for those levels – they can start doubling every 96 hours then).

So we had our ultrasound today. Dave went with me, because should there be bad news, I couldn’t do it alone.

TADA! Where before there was nothing, today we had a 3mm bundle of nerve-y baby, a lovely fetal pole and a heartbeat blinking at 127 bpm! HOLY CRAP, that’s a great heartbeat and a tiny little baby lol Considering how my numbers did, that impresses me anyhow lol

Baby measures at about 6 weeks exactly today, and I’m due September 13…

I can’t believe I found out so early with NO charting, NO ovulating (thank you PCOS) regularly, no af to miss…nothing but my intuition. In hindsight I knew I was ovulating but didn’t really make a big deal because I wasn’t sure. The thought crossed my mind when I started to spot and cramp a bit. I knew I was going to test in a week or two that day. Just to check 😉

So now…we wait. Still concerned about pre term labor, but he’s going to look through my chart to see how we should handle that.

Personally I don’t believe I need a stitch in my cervix. Yeah. My cervix wasn’t incompetent with Aurora, it didn’t start doing anything until after my contractions started at 31 weeks, and initially it didn’t do much then either. After a couple of weeks is when they started getting concerned. I really stick with my body didn’t like what I went through with Ireland and compensated by putting me further along when I actually had her…lol but I can’t chance it this time. Personal choice.

I really believe God has helped me remain calm. Anytime I panicked, all I wanted was that if it wasn’t meant to be, to help me deal with it. If it was, we would see. I’ve had my moments the last few weeks, and probably will for a while, that have ended with me feeling at peace with everything. I’m happy with that.