A 1 year anniversary…of a few things
On this date 1 year ago, I decided to quit smoking again and was determined to follow this time. I wanted to become healthier. I had quit before for 8 years and like a damn fool I started back. I was tired of the coughing, weezing, shortness of breath and last but not least the spending of almost $100 a week on my habit/addiction.
It was easier to quit this time, mainly due to the fact I was being held captive in the hospital for a severe kidney infection on 1 side and infectious pnuemonia. For some strange reason hospitals don’t like you smoking. Go figure lol. During my week stay there, the weather turned cold and it rained up until the morn I was released, all good reasons to say screw smoking and stay in my warm bed lol. Every time the nurses came around they offered me a Nicoderm patch but I really didn’t need them.
A month later I was hospitalized again for a severe kidney infection, on my other kidney this time, and for low sodium levels. I was feeling good with the exception of kidney pain and I was still smoke free. This is where everything changes. I wake up the third morning of this stay and my vision is totally screwed up. Everything is extremely blurred. I can still see somewhat but mostly only things that are up close and reading anything or making faces out on the tv was out of the question, my eyes felt as if they were about to pop out of my head and they hurt like hell. I thought to myself that this is just my diabetic retinopathy problems again and things would be back to normal in a few days, like always. Man was I everrrrrrr wrong.
During this stay, the nurses and CNA’s noticed my blood pressure was staying high and I had no personal history of blood pressure problems so nothing was done mainly because it just wasn’t dangerously high. I was released over the weekend and was back at work that Monday morn even tho my vision was still screwed. Things didn’t get any better so I thought it might be a side effect from the meds I was on for the infection and even asked a pharmacist about it and was told that was a possible side effect and should clear up within a few days after i finish the meds. A month and a half passes after I get off the meds and still no improvement and I am getting worried and make an eye doctor appointment. I see 1 doctor just to end up seeing a specialist and I end up having several laser treatments on my best eye.
A year has passed since everything changed for me. Somethings for the good and some the not so good. I am going blind. It won’t happen today or tomorrow but in time I will be blind. Although I can see somewhat out of 1 eye and able to read, with a magnified veiw naturally, and I had to give up driving,something I dearly loved to do not to mention that driving trucks was my livelyhood for many years and I know I will never be able to drive them again and to do a job, a proffession, that brought much joy to me even when it seemed so boring and mundane at times.
I know what I have to look forward to, no pun intended, on one aspect of my future but it hasn’t really hit me yet and in fact I even joke about it all the time and i think that is a good thing, atleast for now. This day, this 1 year anniversary of sorts, just goes to show how things, how your whole world even, can change as if in the blink of any eye. Everything changes and happens for a reason and with the bad does come some good. In fact, if and or when I do go blind I have a cool idea for me a customized walking cane. It will have working turn signals and a brakelight and a killer horn that bellows out, "Get out of the way asshole".