problems @ work,unstable ex, better single

 I often catch myself realizing how much I hate my job. We are collecting donations for St. Jude Children’s Hospital. I ended up collecting close to $200 in donations. I been passing out little sheets of paper for people to sign to stuck up on the wall to show their support. To me this sounds selfless and kind however to another customer she had a different point of view. A customer donated and refused to put a name. I asked her favorite cartoon character in return she said Bugs Bunny. I signed it and thanked her for the donations. She called the company saying that I offended her and how she would never support the organization again just because I didn’t want to leave a piece of paper blank. Lyle told me no more fictional names. I told Lyle if this much drama results from me helping this company than I don’t want to deal with this bull anymore. This is rediculous! I support St. Judes but I don’t support the ignorance of others. I am going to quit asking for donations. They can choose it by their own will. I am not going to be jumped because I want to help. I will donate in private on my own terms and work can kiss my ass! Excuse my irritation but if you are doing it out of the kindness of your own heart why should anyone punish you? I have had enough. I told Lyle I wasn’t dealing with it anymore. He told me its part of my job. I told him my job is to ring up customers not be harassed and abused!

 Customers complained that the registers are slow. Since work downloaded new programs to ask if you would like to donate onto the computer the register is slow and almost crashes all the time. Lyle jumped on me last night about that too. I told him maybe he should get new computers that can handle the programs than trying to use out of date registers with new media. Yes its going to slow down. No amount of complaining at me is going to speed up the computer.They kept locking up last night. The program is flawed much like my job. Wow Suprise! I know I should appreciate my job more.I know I appreciate the paycheck but damn I wish people could see how me being there is beneficial to them all. I cover their shifts when they decide to skip out on work. I always come in and I never call in. I am a boss’s dream yet I all get is ignorant instances and stupid ways I got in trouble. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions well I must be well on my way!

 My exboyfriend’s aunt Debra called me upset. She said Alex has been partying until dawn he’s a drunk and thinks he’s on drugs he almost moved all things house,sleeps there at night disappears until dawn and will barely talk to any of them. She said since I left he has fell apart and she was hoping my friendship with him would help him realize the error of his ways. I dated Alex from 11/2010-1/2013 he partied a bit but they said he was more stable than. He told them that he intends to kill himself and every time they mention me he cries and says he don’t want to talk about it. He dumped me I am just the one who took the college degree and went home. He has already failed 2 semesters and I am honestly not sure whether he will fail one more. His aunt begged me to try to get back with him she wants us to work. I told her the family wants us to work but he doesn’t. She ask me what to do about his behavior. I told her let him crash and burn once he learns his lesson and fall rocks bottom the only direction he can go is up! She offered to let us move together and help pay rent on an apartment for us to fix our relationship. He got upset when I told her even if he apologize I wont take him back. Its just simply to late!

 I will admit I still love him. I have always loved him but he wont destroy me like he has himself. I have a 2 college degrees, a part time job and I am thinking of finding another part time job. I cant be uses up my resources to make sure he’s alright. His aunt wants me to move up the Bluefield and transfer to there kmart. I refused. I am not putting myself at risk for a boy who’s out of control. I would rather have a stable life and be safe then risk losing it all cause he cant make up his fool mind.

 I am currently not dating. I have no intentions on dating, My main goal is to care for myself. I have no intentions of a friends with benefits relationship and I have no issues choosing to currently have no form of sexual intercourse for this time frame. I have been sexually active in the past but when I am single I don’t see the point of have sex with someone who truly isn’t yours. Argue with me if you like. Some people cant go without sex me however I am fine going without.

  It bothers some of my friends I am that way but I don’t care. To each their own. My sister in law keeps trying to hook me up with someone to ease my tensions with and gets irritated when I say no thanks. I don’t see the point. I am off the pill you would assume my biological clock would be telling me to multiply. I just don’t see the point of multiplying if you cant even feed yourself. When I get in a stable relationship someday and get better financially I may consider children but until than I would rather be by myself.

 I want my life to be so much better. Lord know I am trying…. I just hope someday my entries will be more interesting!