slight niggling anger…

 i really have to get this off my chest. mainly cos its been so long i forget who i vented to about it or if they even remember. so… quick background and then whats happened now.

when i was younger i used to spend a few hours each week on yahoo chat or yahoo games. i started talking to this guy (very very christian guy, not that its a bad thing but we’ll get to that in a bit)  in america who is only a few years older than me. i think i was around 15 or something which would have made him… 17? i dunno, i forget his age. but anyway, we lose touch for a while and then he pops back up a few years later,, married with a kid. i was just happy to have my friend back. we catch up with each other over the next year or two and suddenly he tells me things are a bit troubled, and to keep his wife happy he has to delete me from facebook. because she is JEALOUS OF ME. like what the fuck? i dont even live anywhere near them and i am not interested in even wanting to be a fucking threat to her. anyway, he deletes me. i am hurt by this, so i tell him that. and he says he is trying to be a good husband blah blah blah. 

honestly.. i dont really know how i was friends with him so long, he is really nice, but basically told me i was gross for being bi and that if i married a woman i would go to hell and he wouldnt talk to me anymore. fuck. that. shit.

he would make all little snide comments and i would just sit there and take it, because i didnt want to ruin the friendship.

anyway.. we ended up having a big fight, because they got separated anyway (even after he deleted me and added me onto facebook about three times, the last time he did it i told him i wasnt going to add him back again) and he ended up talking to me about most of his marriage issues. basically he complained alot. a very lot. (over yahoo) and one day he told me that she had taken their son and moved a few states to be closer to her family and wouldnt let him see his son anymore. that pissed me off. he is a good dad. and so he was bending over backwards trying to please this bitch and then she decides, "oh, i want to try things out again" and he just accepts her right fucking back.

i may have overstepped my friendship a little by saying "why would you try to work things out with her after she refused to let you see your son for months?"

but someone had to ask him. so i did. and things completely blew up and i told him to go fuck his bible and dont talk to me anymore. and he hadnt (cos i blocked him from everywhere) 

until this morning.

when he found my fucking google plus account and emailed me through there.

he apologised and shit. i dunno if he and the bitch are still together and i really dont care. i dont even think i want to know. i dont even think i want to talk to him again. he always manages to twist conversations into religious talk, and i cant fucking stand it. i dont mind religion, just dont rub my face in it. 

grrrr.. i need sleep. one of my friends (that i am mildly pissed off with cos he couldnt be bothered talking to me when his shit is going okay while i am having close to mental fucking breakdowns the past few weeks after i talked him out of jumping off a fucking roof because his girlfriend fucking left him and i was absolutely devastated when my grandfather died and i had -no one- local who gave a flying fuck) is coming over.. because surprise surprise. his ex upset him again) is coming over today and i need sleep so i wont be so fucking aggrivated towards everything.

i am seriously fed up with the people who call themselves "my friend" in my local area though. my beft fucking friend chimney? completely ignored me. she put up a status right after i posted one asking for company this week/weekend. her status was "need to have a messy night out! who’s with me?" and then had five people tagged in that post. i wasnt tagged. no, never mind the fact that i stood by her when she broke up with the nicest guy in the world who also happened to be a good friend of mine just so she could date an absolute fuckwit because she asked me to. i lost a good friend from that. 

never mind the fact that when she was being driven crazy by her dad that i let her stay with me and ended up copping shit from my mum for having her here for weeks after.

never mind the fact that i always kept an eye on her while clubbing, even when she insisted on making out with half the fucking nightclub.

fuck… this pisses me off. i have been there so many times for her and she couldnt give a fuck. none of my local friends do.

do you know how many calls or texts i get in a week? probably about 10 texts. from my mum. asking me if i needed anything on her way home from work.

thanks a whole lot fuck heads. thanks for showing me that people can be total cockstains and that i shouldnt really give too much of myself to anyone cos all they do is take and take and take until something better fucking comes along.

hey chimney, you might want to close your legs so you dont cheat on your boyfriend again.