The ever present ME…and Mine as I honor Hers

… for me entry

 

It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything…

Seems worlds away. My Life. Me.

Wanted to say out loud

 I attended Elizabeth Edwards funeral… touching…a life.

I did not know her personally.

I saw a news cast on the day of her death and was …touched…"VACLEMPITE" (SP?)

middle aged…COULD BE… ME… MOMENT ..SADDENED- WANTED TO HONOR HER FEMALNESS IN SOME WAY

HONOR MYSELF… SO A FRIEND ( WHO IS IN THAT PSYCHOLOGICAL SPACE WITH me)  SAID LET’S GO It’s public!

TO SAY GOODBYE

PRAY FOR HER SAFE JOURNEY- New Life….(The dead benifit from your prayers… according to a clairvoyant I know)

….sounds honoring don’t cha know…like it’s about HER- but as usual mmmmmeee me me me ME!

and – I am myself … life will repeat a theme  until you get it!

So as we are going across the street to the church- waiting for the light to change

… TV camers every where… AND SECURITY!    THERE IS THIS

Tall  fine man ( looks like the guy in the tyler Perry movie "Why did I Get Married" who was married to Jill Scott)

He said Good afternoon and looked at me… i did a double take….

I asked my friend …"he  Looks like some body- who?"

(she is like my twin flame and can usually read my unexpressed thoughts)

but

She was soo involved with the celebrity of the moment that she did not consider

my comment and when she looked at him, he was not lookin in her direction.

I thought he looked familar… so when I looked again he was looking at me in a friendly way.

….I thought,  "IS he a star"….  As we witness the HOME GOING …I pondered who was/is that!

Then remembered I.

My  only frisky month allowed…OCT- my  B-Day month.

Nothing special since my hormones have calmed down… but a little attention never hurts anyone

After Karoke with friendsin OCT, I went to a jazz club just before closing- near my home.

It was not crowded…went to the bar ordered a glass of wine….

A tall- Bald chcolate man with a commercial colgate smile walked by and said something…

Sat down …we had a conversation… he treated me to a couple of drinks-

at some point I shared it was my B-day month and he wanted to know my age…it occured to me I was much older than him

afer some game playing …he was 35…i told him aftermore game playing .."I’m too old to be flirting with you…. too old to give you my number….

…. i said I was 45…lol…He said that’s not bad my mom is 54 ….and more smooth talk"

he was a Highway patrolman- in the county that Elizabeth resided in/ security for her funeral was intensified because of attention whore protestors….

SO

The do I know  YOU LOOK our eyes shared…..go back to OCT.

After the funeraL …He was gone …nowhere

no friendly stranger  (under cover cop who did not cross the street) on the corner saying GOOD AFTERNOON.

…what i remember about OCT is …he was adorable

but

I lied about my age… and I never told him I was married.

He said … Let me take you out to breakfast…I don’t want our conversation to end

his  talking points- " WE’RE single….your kids are in college…  I don’t have any kids…we are enjoying each other… you don’t have to go home …come to breakfast with me…nothing more… He walked me to my car- then he gave me his phone number (which I discarded)if in case I reconsider spending time with him.ever

Y’all I ain’t that cute nor in the average of desired…but the universe appeals to my vanity every now and then

I was proud that I resisted… I thought he was a beautiful man-flatered that he sat down to flirt  and was a gentleman

I think it was him… at the funeral… that was " the I know you feeling"…part of me knows it….

Him too- I saw it in his eyes.

He will look for me.