Linda my dear friend called to let me know a woman we had worked with for over 10 years and all retired together in june of 2012… died. Her name was Ester. She was a vibrant soul as I remember and was a great therapist. I remember she too was widowed but for many years … even before we retired. Her obituary listed all of her accomplishments and the causes she championed. The one that stood out was a ‘Widows” club. They did community service and provided a social group for widows. It sounds great but it hit me the wrong way. It scared me. I envisoned a life of nothing but women and cats. What if I live for 20 more years. Who will touch me or whisper in my ear… know where my spot is? I dont want to be in that club.. no cats for me. Within a week of reading that I joined a dating site for seniors. shhhh. It was overwhelming … matches and smiles…. When do you stop messaging and share email OR PHON NUMBERS…. How do people know who to approach or how!?
Then this:_________________________________________________
“Hi Denise. My name is Butch. I am absolutely new at this, but will share that I am also very much interested in getting to know you.”
A Beautiful looking man with a nice smile…10 years my senior but looks my age (whatever that looks like). His profile listed his occupation as piolt and we lived in the same small town. I was kind of nervous but thought … maybe destiny.?
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“Hi Butch, I’m pretty new at this too. I guess we’re creating our own protocol.🤷🏽♀️ “THAT BEING SAID”… getting to know each other sounds like the perfect place to start. Ummm I am single and assuming you are too. I have two adult girls. One in Nevada and the other just moved back home from Chicago and is working on her PHD from North Western. She also teaches there, but COVID-19 allows her to teach virtually. See how green I am. Telling you about my family vs me. Me…. I am on this site for friendship. I want to share fun times with a man who enjoys me as much as I do him. I love to travel… exploring places and people. The picture you liked was taken a couple of months ago in Las Vegas. I went zip lining on Fremont street (a very touristy activity). I’m not really a dare devil. I am not the life of the party person but I sure love being at the party. I find writing anything extensive difficult in message format. You are welcome to email me at deedee@gmail.com I look forward to hearing from you! 😉”.. (My usual psyco too much information self)
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“GM Denise. I pray this day finds you well and in good spirits. I was quite pleased to receive your message. To be honest, I was anxiously waiting to hear from you.
A little bit about me if I may. I live alone in Cary. I have three lovely daughters, four loving grand-daughters and two grandsons. We are a very happy family and have a lot of fun sharing. We have gone on trips to the mountains, cruises and other vacations. Of course, we’re not always together.
But, enough about my family. I am immensely enjoying retirement, and like you I am quite adventurous. I believe in living and enjoying this precious life that God gave us. I am very outgoing. I take life serious, but try not to take myself too serious. In other words, I try to have fun every day of my life.
I believe in honesty, fidelity and transparency and try to live my daily life in that manner.
I’ll be open and honest and tell you that I really liked your pictures. Maybe I shouldn’t say this at this moment, but I found you to be so very cute and appealing. Oops, got to go, CHURCH is calling.
God Bless!!!”
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“Good Morning!
It was good to hear from you. I have not been called cute in a long time and I found it quite charming… so thank you. You are rather easy on the eye as well and time seems to have adored you.
I imagine you to be THAT papa. The one the grand kids adore and run to upon sight for a kiss and hug! It’s nice to know you are a spiritual man. I think we both are spiritually grounded but might have different beliefs. My bible class/ worship is still online due to covid but I think we will reconvene in June. I curiously respect varying religious beliefs. I’m sure that will be a part of the getting to know you process. Rest assured that I am in a constant state of gratitude and know that my savior’s grace and mercy keeps me.
NOW…
I noticed you listed honesty and transparency as necessary for you. I have thought about that all day. I thought honesty included transparency and it occured to me… maybe not. I thought what am I not revealing…. My NAME.
Denise is my middle name. When I hit midlife I thought Denise captured my spirit more than… Edna. Online fb, twitter its Denise… even my gmail. My longtime friends tease me when I’m dressed up and will call me Dee instead of Edna. My name is Edna Denise Miller. Edna is an OLE name.
Another transparency issue… I’m a widow. (felt weird typing that) I was married for 36 years to a great man. He passed last june. Recently several things occurred that lead me to say… There is still much life to be lived. I want to share good times with someone special and I joined that dating site. My girls seem to have always enjoyed getting to know people. In fact my youngest met the love of her life on a dating site. So here I am.(although I have not shared that with anyone… except you)
Fun facts:
1) my birthday is 10/05 I celebrate the whole month. … Out to eat…trips… activities i don’t ordinarily do… I’m a Libra…. really a Libra.
2)I am enjoying my retirement but it was a bit premature due to a reduction in force. I was a social worker/ team leader for the county’s developmental disability program for 24 years. The county transitioned the divisions duties and functions to a managed care organization. Occasionally I will work as a temporary.
3)Still figuring out this… single at this age
4) Only child with two children and two 10 year old bi coastal living grandchildren. YES I’m that nanna!
5) Love karaoke- I’m a seat singer
Your fun facts????
I enjoyed reading your email. I love the way you write. Your choice of words and the rhythm …alluring but not too forward. Love it. More Please.
With bated breath
Edna or DEE
Dance like nobody’s watching!”
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“Good Morning Dee.
I like Denise and Edna, but Dee is fine with me. In fact I think that you’re “fine” with me. I have to admit that I find you quite charming as well. I don’t know, but maybe I’m going a little too fast. I really seem to be getting caught up in you, and I don’t mind. And yes, It’s pleasing to know that you like what you see.
As far as being a papa, you, as we sometimes say, “hit the nail on the head”. They are truly my adorable sweethearts.
Rest assured I’m confident that our spiritual beliefs are safe in God’s hands.
I just have to tell you that you sound (feel) like the lady for me. You touch me with your words. You must be a special lady, and I don’t say that without pause, but I say what I mean.
I too am a widower. I lost my wife of 52 years this past November. You are right, there is much life to be lived. Perhaps we are the “special someones” who can share it together.
So for the fun facts:
1) My birthday is May 24. Maybe like you I should celebrate the whole month. Would you celebrate it with me? Could we do that?
2) Like you I am quite adventurous. I spent 23 years in the US Army. The first six years I was a Special Forces Green Beret. I climbed mountains, snow skied, rappelled down slopes, performed helo casting in the ocean, parachuted out of airplanes and was a sky diving instructor. I was also a pilot in the US Army during this time.
3) After 23 years in the military I suffered a hearing loss in my left ear and had to stop flying. At that time I reverted to my secondary which was Safety Management. I was a safety manager and supervisor with OSHA for 10 years and thereafter retired completely.
Wow, I didn’t realize how long I was rambling on. My apologies! Enough!!! We’ll talk more later. By the way, my full name is Butch T Hickson. If you feel comfortable and would like, I would welcome a telephone call at (his cell number). More to come!”
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More did come…
