well-being

Okay.  Are you ready for this?

I’M LISTENING TO THE GIPSY KINGS ON VINYL!!!!!

I just enjoyed some salad and a small chicken pot pie, and a cup of functional coffee (as opposed to decadently-flavoured).

I’m off to the school to practice before some rehearsals and one lesson.  It’s festival week and since there are no baby classes in the mornings, I have been enjoying the feeling of expansiveness, the sense of time growing around my no-longer-flapping elbows.  ALL my laundry is clean, my floor is clear, my bed is made, and everything smells fantastic – whether it’s the beeswax candle, the cauliflower soup, or the amaryllis so boldly blooming on the kitchen table – it’s all great.

I haven’t documented my incredibly terrible January on these pages.  But suffice it to say, I continue to be out of danger, as far as giving up on life is concerned.  It’s more that life refuses to give up on me.  There is always something demanding me to be my best self.  Thank Mr. God for work.

Yesterday, after an entire day of being driven by a minute-by-minute plan for getting stuff done, I suddenly bolted up and ran to this laptop to write – I hardly knew what.  Two poems appeared (one even made subtle homage to Das Lied von der Erde, which I haven’t consciously thought about in months).

But here’s a different poem from a week ago:

morning.
and all my night-fears
evaporate like frost off a roof.

the year is turning;
my own sap rises
and i crack open unused limbs
to rosin the bow of my heart,
which has lain silently by.

when i curled last night
into a drop of misery,
it was only a seed i was becoming,
sown to burst open at first light.
Here is my art:
the day fits into my hand
as if into grooves of use.

my mind is turning;
eyes turn to sky,
the moment of choice arrives
and the living music is the proof.