11/3/06

I had a bath last night, listening to Gregorian chant, and it dawned on me: Not so long ago I would have been unable to listen to chant with much pleasure, because it would have reminded me of the Friar.  Then I realized that there are many things that I genuinely love/am fond of, which I had been avoiding because they reminded me of how the Friar loves/is fond of them.  But they were things I had been loving long before I knew the Friar existed.  I am coming back to my core.  It is not as lonely there as I would have expected.

—

I picked up a package from A Curious Mango on Thursday.  Ms Spur happened not to be working that day (I wasn’t either), so when I got home, I went cackling into her room and dumped the contents of the package all over her big fluffy bed – gifts of various sizes wrapped with care (all those curled ribbons!!), which we immediately started attacking.  Ms Spur matter-of-factly helped herself to the sour candy (I’m not much for sour stuff) while I opened the bigger gifts.

One of these was a pad of parchment paper, with a sticky on it saying "To keep you composing."

I love that Mango.

—

But still somewhat lonely.

—

Mr. G and Mr. Faith and I are trying to get together soon, maybe even as early as tomorrow.  Mr. G e-mailed saying "Should I come out to see you in (your city) someday soon, just us two?  I would like that too."  I e-mailed back saying, basically, Yes!

I am so *true* around Mr. G.

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I keep having dreams about Mr. Music.  Half a year until the 3-year mark; then we’re due for our bumping-into-each-other incident.  I’m afraid that this time it won’t happen, and that the chain will be broken, and I will never see him again.  I suppose I could figure out where he is and how to contact him, but I’m just not sure he would want me to.  I feel like I am a project he gave up on.  … I guess he doesn’t know how largely he figures in my personal mythology.