For The Ladies………………And Men Too

 One day my housework challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.  Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,  "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends,"  I yelled back.  "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back,  "University of Wisconsin."

And they say blondes are dumb……………..

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A couple were lying in bed.  The man says, "I’m going make you the happiest woman in the world."  The woman replies,  "I’ll miss you……………"

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It’s just too hot to wear clothes today, Jack said as he stepped out of the shower.  "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"  "Probably that I married you for your money", she replied.
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Man to wife:  Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
Wife to man:  That’s a good idea…….you stand by the ironing board for a while, and I’ll sit on the sofa and fart.
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Question:    What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
Answer:       A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60’s were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.  On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
The man wished for a female companion 30 yrs. younger……immediately he turned ninety.  

Gotta love that fairy!!!!
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Question:  How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
Answer:  Rename the mail folder Instruction Manual.

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A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I’d like to buy a bra for my wife."  "What type of bra?" asked the clerk.  "Type?" inquires the man.  There’s more than one type?"  "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.  "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from." said the clerk.
Relieved, the man asked about the types.  The saleslady replied:  "there are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.  Which one would you prefer?"  Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.  The saleslady responded,  "it is all really quite simple:
The Catholic type supports the masses,
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright,
and The Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills."

If you have ever wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for it’s about time you became informed.
A:  almost boobs
B:  barely there
C:  can’t complain
D:  dang!
DD:  double dang!
E:  enormous
F:  fake
G:  get a reduction
H:  Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!!!

And never forget the German bra:  HOLTZEMFROMFLOPPEN