orgasmic polka dots

i was very busy yesterday. i didn’t have any lectures or seminars (hooray!) so I did a tiny bit of work and then went into town to drop off my dry cleaning and get some fresh air, because i was seriously on the blob. what was supposed to be an hours quick scoot into the city became a three hour ordeal whereupon i, hormally deranged, attempted to try on virtually everything in every single shop going. i have no idea why. it was when i was stuck in the dressing room in dorothy perkins tring on a strapless black dress with pink polka dots on that i thought ‘what am i doing?’ and headed home. although not before buying some bright pink shoes with white polka dots on. why all the polka dots? i don’t know. although i suspect it may have been to draw attention away from the giant period spot that i had on my cheek. i haven’t had one as big as that since i was thirteen, and although i was whinging to all and sundry – secretly i was quite proud of it.

when i got home i wolfed down my tea and felt all horrid and bloated and then went out again to go to the ‘topshop lock-in’ for students. 20% off everything, free booze, a DJ and a goodie bag. sadly, all the goodie bags had been swiped by the time i got there but me, lucy and amy did a bit of shopping (me: rings, belt which matched my polka dot shoes that i was now wearing (but they were from different shops, bizarrely) and a bag with clouds on it, and a zebra print bag for claire who was miserable and at home with the flu, lucy: pyjamas, hairbands (?), amy: lovely maroon shoes). we had to queue for ages to get in though, and i was freezing. i did manage to embarrass lucy quite nicely by announcing that ‘i have the most fun shoes in the queue!’ hey, i live to make that lady squirm.

amy then went home because she doesn’t go out much, and me and lucy headed off to a new bar that had opened by the river called ‘orgasmic.’ it was the launch night and was invite only, but a girl came into azendi and gave us tickets and i blagged them all, ho ho! it’s a nice place, although the invite said ‘unpretentious.. just great food and drink.’ it is easily the most pretentious bar in the city. when i went in the woman at the door said ‘hey, i love your matching coat and belt!’ (i’d put on the belt on the way to the bar), to which i replied ‘thanks, i’ve just been to that topshop lock-in’ and she looked at me like i was the saddest loser ever. meep. so i ran to the big ice sculpture and got some free vodka that they were pouring down it.

me and lucy were starving by this time so she made me go and get some pizza and i was stood waiting for so long one of the bouncers came over and moved me on! the shame! i still managed to swipe some though. we drank stupidly expensive strawberry liquer and champagne cocktails and we both agreed how the night was like an episode of sex and the city, because carrie only seems to go to places on their launch. then we both collapsed into slightly pissed giggles when we realised what sad bastards we were for making such an observation.

so we went home and watched teen big brother, although sadly my blob-induced narcolepsy meant i’d nodded off like a old man by the time those two were shagging. a shame.

(or maybe not).

musical sock xx