hard bitter lemons

I’ve been thinking a lot of stuff the last few weeks, to the point that it ate me up whole and I felt so overwhelmed and exhausted. Even though, it is wrong to compare myself to other people but I keep doing that. It made me question my life; every decisions I’ve made and the path I’ve chosen. Everyone say that patience will be rewarded and it will get me to where I want to be, but why does it feels like my feet got stuck on the ground. I know the road towards my goal is never easy but I kind of expected it to be less thorny. Each time my feet move forward, it keeps getting blurry and further away. All my life, I have been nothing but patient. I grew up with a belief that my consistency and hard work will pay off but recent events made me question that. I am known to be a consistent and persevering person but life has not been nice to me lately. I keep getting delayed. It mocks me, tests my patience and continuously pokes me to doubt the decisions I have made.