week 30

I thought i’d keep more of a log here, turns out i didnt. I have been keeping up with a writing journal about my pregnancy that they gave me during the second visit which is a good log of how i’ve been feeling and such.

So its a BOY! 

And we are still very happy with the first name I picked, I talked to M about it and he is in agreement. Hard to believe the easiest part was choosing the name. Which we’ve kept sercret from everyone. Well M let it slip to his mom (wasnt that happy bout that) But I havent told a single person and i like it that way. They can all wait and find out at the birth, sorta makes the name special. I says his name alot when i’m alone or with M.

Had a small baby shower on Aug 14th, that was nice and i got lots of good stuff. No big stuff which everyone knew i wouldnt have room for. Just clothers and diapers, a tub and bath stuff, all small enough to pack together in a couple big gift bags but it will all come in handy soon. I purchased a pack’n’play myself on clearance at target. I’ve also put a travel system on layaway at babies’r’us and is almost paid off. I’m being very realistic about what i need to buy and what i just want. Money is super tight right now and babies really dont require that much at first. I want to get more diapers and whipes and a diaper pale and some breastfeeding supplies that i will need. I want to get a pump but the cost is just too much to think about right now. Might consider renting one from the hospital when I need to start using it. I want to breast feed and that is something i was sure i didnt want to even try before i was preggo. But there are soo many good health reasons for myself and the baby and not to mentions its way cheaper then buying formula. I’m not sure what will happen when i return to work i’d like to pump at that point.

I think thats what makes me most nervous about the whole baby thing, returning to work. I know i wont want to and juggling M and I’s schedules around the baby and each other and getting jr to and from school its just going to be soo much to handle with only one car. I’m not sure how it will work.  We are planning on using some of the income tax refund in Feb to buy M a car of his own so it will make life easier on both of us. I’m also super stressed about moving, I toured a place just a few days ago that seems very promising. 2bedroom 1 bath, 850$ including heat and hot water, tons of parking and dumpsters on site. Only thing you need to pay for yourself would be electric and internet. We’ve already decided we wont be getting cable tv, we havent had a tv to really watch since we’ve been living here with family so why bother going back to couch potato mode. I do miss my tv a great deal but only for movies, I’m thinking if there is enough $ i’d like to sign up with netflix again so then we can always have something to watch without the crap on tv. It will be better for Jr anyway not being a mindless tv kid.  It all boils down to money of course, my biggest worry. Isnt everyones?

I’m not really afraid of the birth or the pain (yet) I’d like to take a birthing class just to be more informed but the class is $100 so i’m not sure if that is going to be possible. It should be FREE, it not then your insurance should cover the cost without having to pay. Every penny needs to be saved for the move, first month and deposit is going to be very hard to come up with and then i’ll be off work for a month unpaid its going to be soooo tough on us. I wish i would have known to sign up for short term disability in june during my open enrollment at work..but i had no idea then.

I’m excited to hold my baby son and take care of him, yet want him to stay in there as long as possible too so i can be moved and settled and ready for when it arrives. I’ve gained 16 pounds so far which i think its good. I’m 30 weeks, if i gain a pound a week which is what they suggested then i’ll be 26pds when i’m done…i’d like to keep in under 30. I know i’ll feel better after and be able to loose the extra quickly as well.  My appts are every two weeks now, i feel like i’m a expert and peeing in a cup by now. Hehe. My dr said i would have an ultrasound probably in a month just to make sure he’s pointed down and be more aware of his size since i’m measuring big. She’s not concerned with the dates just that I’ll probably have a big baby..ouch.  I gotta do the hospital tour at least thats free! I have the bowling ball belly and havent really gained weight anywhere else, which is wonderful.

Jr had is first day of K on Aug 31st, I’m so proud!  He really  is enjoying school and its a big effort on our part to make sure homework and reading is done nightly. His mother hasn’t been following the custory agreement so M is going to file papers to get it changed, currently is has visits 530-730 on tues/thur every other week.. but that is already causing a problem with school and his routine. And her bad influeance on him just continues with each weekend and visit. He already returns quiet and grumpy and won’t listen. I know he needs to see his mother but he seems to much happier, stable with us. He lives with us but M is going to try and get those week day visit taken away so he can focus on school. He has a long school day and its making it hard on him with so much to try to fit in before bed time. 730-4pm he gets off the bus close to 415. I like the school for this reason they are very focused on college and respect, its awsome.

I love my husband dearly and i feel soo lucky to have him in my life. So lucky we can make a life and family together. He’s a great father an i know he’ll always been there for our new son, i think thats rare now a days.

okay well enough on the update, hopefully i’ll remember to write again sooner this time. But life is busy and when its not i just want to sleep! 

movements and wiggles
as you spin
keeping me awake at night
with a grin
soon you’ll be lieing in my arms
held tight by my love
your daddy smiling
we’ll be so proud
to have you as our son