all of my grace

I didn’t forget you. My soul wants to reflect and write and so I am returning home.  Although without internet at home and a decent pc, this may be brief being posted from my smartphone.  Currently on a work computer probably when I shouldn’t be.

I miss writing, the ear that willingly listens and doesn’t judge, I don’t have that in my life. It makes me remember when I use to have an online life and him, a soft pillow for my worry. 

Mommy life is busy, yes still married and now with 2 children. My moon (1) and my star (3) and a stepson. Still work at the same job and still struggle every month to find the money to pay for everything.  My husband is a stay at home dad, which I am thankful our children at raised daily by just the two of us. I don’t trust hardly anyone with their upbring, they are a blessing not just a kid that needs to be watched.  Between work and kids I don’t  have any time left to have an "in" love marriage. The special thought an extra kiss, a conversation they doesnt have diapers somewhere in it.

I guess when you become too busy you dont even have time to dwell on if your good enough. I give every second I have to my moon&star and feel guilty when I don’t. My marriage suffers and my mental self stay wrapped up in toy trains and cartoons its hard to remember a life before it.

Today I gave
all of my grace
to my earthly reflections
in their eyes I see
the meaning of why
I am me