ISO: Patron Saint of

What saints do you pray to when you need help finding something intangible?

Well, okay….I could use one for both. I could use the services of the Patron Saint of "Finding the perfect home in the perfect place for the perfect price without anything majorly wrong with it". And, I also need to call on the Saint responsible for "Finding out what the heck to do with your life to eventually make some sort of money or career while absolutely loving what you do and never having to leave the house". I suppose I should ask the virtual Saint Anthony (aka, google. haha…). I know St. Joseph helps you SELL your house, and St. Anthony helps you find things you’ve lost….buuut I don’t know if they cover these specific needs.

The house thing? Well. That’s a no brainer. You’ve heard my babbling about that (or maybe you haven’t? I just now edited – though decided NOT to add my pictures to the long-ish entry I wrote at Matt’s parents the other day (because I liked the picture it painted without the visuals better). You can catch up HERE, and then come back. Oh, and then there’s the more simply stated OMGIWANTAHOUSE one entry back). It’s kind of an easy thing to understand – I used to have a house, I don’t any more, I would like a new one. 

The desperate need/want/drive for SOMETHING "to do" is another story. I am by no means bored (I don’t think I even know the exact definition of that, anymore), considering at any given point I have about 7,000 things on my ever-growing, never completing to do list of life. But I feel so unsettled. Part of it is the lack of my permanent residence, and I know that a lot of this cabin fever slash claustrophobia will diminish as soon as we find our home. But I know that once the walls are painted and the boxes are unpacked and I’ve slapped the last meticulously cricut designed label on the last box-o-crap, I’ll be right back to where I am at this moment. Not being totally sure what to do with myself. 

I’ve already stated the over all want – to make babies, stay at home, raise them, keep my home in order, and find something "to do". NOT because I’m bored. Because….I want to be DOING more. I want more drive. I want more purpose, more fire under my ass. I thought I was close to figuring it out, and my ideas really weren’t (aren’t?) that far fetched. I just, have a bit of mental ADD and when something doesn’t seem to pan out quickly or keep me overly, ridiculously satisfied to the point where my brain has no empty space left, my thoughts wander to the next "could be" big idea. And then I take on too many projects, and they all suffer because I didn’t plow all my efforts into ONE thing. 

This is what I know:
– I like to write
– I like to read
– I like to craft (particularly paper craft)
– I like to blog
– I like to cook
– I like to decorate
– I have an obsession with documentation
– Coffee, the color Pink, and peppy music excite me
– I love Edward Cullen

Okay I’m getting off track now….

So, what do I do with that? Blog about crafting, cooking, and decorating in pink fonts while sipping coffee and listening to Miley Cyrus?
(That actually…..sounds like a lot of fun).

As you know, I have two blogs. One I started as a "safe" resource for my family where I would restrain from swear words and embarrassing tid bits like "boo AF is here", and "major EWCM today, folks!". I wanted an easy URL that even the older members could remember (or hunt & peck their way through punching the keys in their address bars). I wanted an simple, organized documentation of my son’s growth, complete with monthly pictures and letters and videos and updates. Though, in it’s humblest beginnings (back in Sept of 2007, yes, it goes back that far – check it out!) I just wanted to post some fun stuff to tell our family members who used to be such a long distance away. They never got to share in my simple excitements over hanging a Buffalo Sabres flag on my porch in redneck town USA where most people don’t even know what a goalie is, or putting out my fall decorations on a beautiful house I bought that no one ever got to see. It was made for the main purposes of communication and documentation. And as of now, that’s where it still stands. But, I’ve recently started giving it more attention because a) I love blogger’s setup and FREEness and b) sometimes when I write I think "this reads like a blog post, not a long blah-blah diary entry".

My craft blog was started for a few reasons. During the time I had to wait from getting my cricut on Black Friday and the unopening on Christmas morning, I was going NUTS not being able to play with it. In order to curb my crafting appetite (and partially distract myself from the fact that I was getting FURTHER behind on Luke’s albums while waiting), I scoured the web for videos and blogs and pictures of layouts and techniques and ideas. I found this whole blog community of people who do this PROFESSIONALLY! Like, with sponsors and paying JOBS based in nothing more than playing with paper!! How ridiculously perfect for me! I mixed in the idea of blogging about what I already love and participating in this wonderful craft world I previously knew nothing about, and BOOM, craft blog. I have A LOT of fun updating it, but I’m stuck somewhere between doing it for fun and working my ass off to get it recognized. Some days I don’t care if anyone reads what I put on there and I’ll get 3 new followers. Other days I’ll put this amazing post together and I won’t get so much as a page view. Needless to say, my craft blogging has created in me an obsession with statistics and it’s kind of mind-f-ing. It makes my interest slightly roller-coaster-y, which is exactly what I DIDN’T want.

I guess the important point is that it’s NOT the content making me feel that way. I needed to find a topic where I wouldn’t think "omg if I see another adhesive I’m going to explode", because truth be told….few things excite me like a good adhesive! My roller coaster feelings come from a lack of attention when I feel it should be getting some, followed by someone or some THING re-fueling my desire and then I ride a high for a day or two. I suppose it could be true about a lot of things. But this is where I get conflicted.

I have nothing else to "fill in the gaps". Sure, I slap up some random crafty ideas and things that have nothing to do with paper crafting, as well as interviews with other crafty bloggers. But when I feel like I’ve exhausted my crafting updates for the day, or week as the case may be, I have nothing to use to try and get more people interested. Originally I thought the genius was in picking ONE topic, sticking to ONE theme – even if it covers a wide variety of things. For example, a fashion blog could feature everything from clothes, to shoes, to purses and sunglasses and belts, to make up, new hair styles, ways to make old clothes look cool again, ways to organize your accessories, and on and on it goes. But you still have a very specific audience because you’re revolving aro

und people who are ONLY into fashion, or ONLY go to YOU for their fashion interests. This was my thinking behind picking a crafting blog, heavily rooted in paper crafting. There’s A LOT to talk about! Papers, adhesives, die cutters, punches, inks, stamps, stickers, embellishments, layouts and cards…you get the idea. Yet, I think the reason why I feel as though it’s not "satisfying" me…..is because I’m very much so NOT a one topic kinda girl. I LOOOOVE paper crafting, and I could (and usually do) do it every day…..but it’s such a small fraction of ME. You guys know me well enough by now. I have so many endless interests, that it seems very……UNme to limit myself to one theme.

But what do I do?? Do I pollute my craft blog with personal things as well as my other interest and possibly risk scaring off people who are ONLY there for my craft updates? Do I keep expanding my personal blog to include other things, and struggle with not only trying to keep TWO blogs updated, but get both noticed? What are the chances of that?? Do I just stick with my craft blog as it is, and ignore my drive for other things? This is where I need ‘ol Saint whoever figures this stuff out.

And then there’s the question….why do anything at all? I’m home with my baby, eventually I’ll have both a house and more babies. That’s the biggest want/goal in my life, right? Yeah. But….I just like to think that at this time in our society, things like…..doing what you LOVE, FROM HOME no less, is more possible now than ever. I can keep up a home and raise my kids, AND find a way to make a little money doing something I am crazy about so that I can continuously enhance our home lives. I mean why not? Isn’t that kind of the beauty of having all these user-friendly gadgets in our lives?

Matt is very rah-rah for the craft blog, though I haven’t really had this mental outpouring with him (this is the first time I’m able to organize my thoughts about it, actually). So…I’m not really sure what he would think of merging the blogs, or expanding one, or what. What I do know, is that he loves my cards & my scrapbook layouts and thinks that I can somehow, eventually, make them profitable. But I’m not really sure that simply making a bunch of cards and slapping them on etsy is the key. I DO have a few ideas on how to continuously generate interest (if I can ever get interest STARTED in the first place), but I’m wondering if maybe…..it’s more important to have sponsors. It seems so. And I know you can’t get sponsors without a big, loyal following. And you can’t get that without being interesting to your full potential. So do I just continuously work on making my crafting endeavors interesting? Or do I open my ENTIRE brain and see who is interested in knowing all of it?

Or am I…….totally, and completely on the wrong track all together? I just feel like there has GOT to be a solution. I feel like there is one, RIGHT THERE, and I’m just….not seeing it yet. Come on, Saints….help a girl out.